John Branyan
Timpic Timpic Timpic Timpic Timpic

Latest post from John's Comedy Sojourn

--- Sacred Sarcasm ---

Guess my God is better than yours…sorry.

Scolded recently for my use of sarcasm.

Told that sarcasm isn’t helpful in serious conversation.

This insight changed everything for me.

(The above sentence is sarcasm.)

This is not the first time I’ve been reprimanded.


(…that was a little sarcastic too.)

I get annoyed when people point out my sarcasm.

Like I don’t recognize it.

Like I’m not even listening to myself talk.

With a wounded expression my critic proclaims,

“You’re being sarcastic!”

And the discussion is now over.

Because I’ve committed an unforgivable sin.

Proper people are compelled to disengage.

Decent, Christian folk can’t stand sarcasm.

Any point made with sarcasm is dismissed out of hand.

Unworthy of response.

“That’s not how Jesus talks.”

What I’m about to say is NOT meant to imply

that Jesus and me are alike in our communication skills.

Jesus didn’t speak in the same way ALL the time.

He did say things like:

“If your son asks for some bread are you gonna give him a stone? If he asks for a fish you gonna hand him a snake? Of course not! You don’t do that and you’re a bunch of EVIL folks. You think God might behave better being as how He’s NOT evil?” (Matthew 7:9-10 …paraphrased…sorry…)

This seems a ‘weensy-bit’ sarcastic.

But for blantant, sanctimonious sarcasm,

we have to look in the Old Testament.

Here’s the reference in case you think I’m making it up. (1 Kings 18:15 -)

Elijah is conversing with some of Baal’s prophets.

He’s asking questions about why they haven’t heard from their god.

He offers some possible explanations like:

“Maybe your god is sleeping and can’t hear you.”

“Or perhaps he’s on the toilet!”

He says some other stuff.

Awful, mean-spirited, sarcastic stuff.

I’m certain there were hurt feelings among the prophets of Baal.

The hapless pagans probably said things like:

“Don’t be disrespectful, Elijah!”

“We’re don’t care how much you know unless we know how much you care!”

“You seem arrogant!”

“You’re full of yourself!”

“That’s not how Jesus talked.”

(Go ahead.

Point out that they didn’t know anything about Jesus.

I’ll respond sarcastically.)

I don’t want the hassle of copying Job 38 into this blog.

It’s an epic, satiric rant…

…from GOD!

Almighty God speaking sarcasm.

Any of you prim, proper Christians want to tell Him to be nicer?

Sarcasm is a gift.

It’s a tool for exposing foolishness.

God Himself gave it to mankind.

Truth cannot be destroyed by sarcasm.

If your point of view crumbles under the weight of scornful satire,

…your point of view sucks.

(The above sentence is NOT sarcasm.)

My Christian brothers and sisters,

You’re going to encounter sarcasm sometimes.

Stop whining.

It should take more than a few sarcastic words to shatter your faith.

Take some lessons from the Bible.

Learn to speak satire yourself.