John Branyan
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--- Humor Calculator ---

Humor Formula

Have you got a sense of humor?

‘Yes! Of course I do!’

Are you sure?

You seem kind of uptight.

Don’t be offended!

I’m not saying you don’t have a sense of humor!

I’m saying your sense of humor could be dulled.

Like your sense of smell with a stuffy nose.

Like your sense of taste after a shot of Novocaine.

Here’s a handy formula for calculating your sense of humor:

L – (2 x O) = H

‘L’ is the amount of time spent laughing.

‘O’ is the amount of time spent being offended.

‘H’ represents your total ‘Sense of Humor’

For example:

50 (Two episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond) – (30 (CNN Programming) x 2) = -10

Watching two episodes of a great sitcom leads you to believe you’re okay.

Be not fooled.

Half an hour of broadcast news swings your sense of humor into negative numbers.

It takes 2 minutes of laughter to offset 1 minute of outrage.

That’s the ‘Offended Affect’.

There are a couple of ways to boost your sense of humor.

First, you can laugh more.

Maybe watch some comedy.

Secondly, you can spend less time being offended.

This can be accomplished via a 2-step process.

  1. Make a list of things that offend you.
  2. Stop thinking about things on the list.

Here’s a sample list from an anonymous person:

Sample Offend List










To boost overall sense of humor,

I would…I mean…THIS PERSON would need

to stop brooding about the things listed.

The result would be a dramatic and immediate reduction

in the number of offended minutes per day–

increasing my the person’s sense of humor

without the need to increase laughter one iota!

A third option involves sarcasm.

This is when you think about things that offend you

so you can make fun of them.

Mocking things that offend you increases your sense of humor geometrically.

It creates laughter while simultaneously reducing offended-ness.

So what’s your sense of humor total?