I think I’m smarter than I am.
I’m usually too busy being conceited to notice.
But every now and then I get a flash of introspection.
I get a moment of honest, self-assessment.
And the truth hits me…
…like a javelin between the eyeballs.
Today, I realized that I say arrogant things all the time.
In particular, I say this:
“See you later.”
I don’t know what’s going to happen later.
Don’t know that you and I will meet again.
Don’t know that my heart will keep beating.
You shouldn’t trust me when I say, “See you later.”
Because I have no idea if that’s true.
Currently, my Dad is hospitalized in Intensive Care.
He might die today.
Currently, I’m not in the hospital.
I might die today too.
So I shouldn’t tell you, “See you later.”
Later might not include me.
This is the last thing I heard my father say before he slipped into a coma:
“Go to hell!”
He probably thought he’d be able to say something else…
He and I are in the same boat.
Both of us arrogant.
Both of us think we’ve got the future figured out.
Both of us wrong.
I’m going to try to be more humble.
It doesn’t come naturally.
It takes a concentrated effort.
I’ll probably fail many times.
God help me.
Don’t banish me to my own reason!
Don’t leave me alone with my arrogance!
Remind me of my ignorance.
Please do it now.
I may not be here later.