I think I’m smarter than I am.

I’m usually too busy being conceited to notice.

But every now and then I get a flash of introspection.

I get a moment of honest, self-assessment.

And the truth hits me…

…like a javelin between the eyeballs.

Today, I realized that I say arrogant things all the time.

In particular, I say this:

“See you later.”

How absurd.

I don’t know what’s going to happen later.

Don’t know that you and I will meet again.

Don’t know that my heart will keep beating.

You shouldn’t trust me when I say, “See you later.”

Because I have no idea if that’s true.

Currently, my Dad is hospitalized in Intensive Care.

He might die today.

Currently, I’m not in the hospital.

I might die today too.

So I shouldn’t tell you, “See you later.”

Later might not include me.

This is the last thing I heard my father say before he slipped into a coma:

“Go to hell!”

He probably thought he’d be able to say something else…

…later.

He and I are in the same boat.

Both of us arrogant.

Both of us think we’ve got the future figured out.

Both of us wrong.

I’m going to try to be more humble.

It doesn’t come naturally.

It takes a concentrated effort.

I’ll probably fail many times.

God help me.

Don’t banish me to my own reason!

Don’t leave me alone with my arrogance!

 

Remind me of my ignorance.

Please do it now.

I may not be here later.

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34 Responses

  1. You are aggroant and so am I. Thanks for the reminder. Thankfully is there is one that never is. Praying that Mr. Branyan stops being arrogant and submits to The Father in whatever time he does have left and we both remain humble no matter what comes. Grace and peace to you in Our Lord Jesus Christ.

    1. I don’t understand the first comment. I’m guessing it’s something I said and you’re quoting it back to me in an attempt at irony. Is that right?

      Ark sent me several notes (all of which are in moderation because he refuses to admit that his comments have order and meaning) and they precisely demonstrate the futility of atheism.

      His first comment was to tell me how hilarious he found it that I was scolded and banned on your blog.

      His second comment (a day later) was to tell me that he hoped my old man got better.

      His third comment (a day later) was outrage that his second comment was not allowed to post publicly. Then he called me a prick.

      You may have seen that KIA is “praying” for my family. He still refuses to explain what that means and how it is supposed to help. I assume he just wants credit for being a thoughtful guy.

      I am sincerely interested in the motivation behind your post, Nan. What are you trying to accomplish?

      1. Nan was quoting me, Dad.
        I said I’d rather have unbelievers say “Meh, none of this matters anyway” than to talk about prayer.

        It’s the most honest thing I’ve ever heard her say.

        1. Well, it sounded like something I might say. It is an odd thing to say before vocalizing concern.

          I am curious about why she felt compelled to comment. My guess is that she didn’t think about it, like Pastor Mike. She just wants to be on record for being a really good person. This is what “good” people do, y’know.

          1. Yes, I was just quoting your daughter since that was what she said she preferred. 🙂

            I visited your blog because Ark mentioned your comment about your dad. And yes, believe it or not, I do try to be a nice person … and I sincerely hope your dad is OK.

          2. Thank you.

            I hope you don’t get mad at me for saying this…but your “religion” is showing.

    1. Seriously, Mike. You’re not making yourself look good. It’s not coming across as nice and compassionate. It’s coming across as insane.

    2. It’s all about you, Mike!
      Thanks for hijacking my family’s hardship to focus attention on yourself. Since you’re in such dire need of encouragement, I’ll offer my my sentiments.

      You’re a childish, self-centered, belligerent tool. Get on your knees and beg God to forgive you.

      You are still the same arrogant, sanctimonious know-it-all that you were when you identified as “Christian”. Your ‘recovery’ is a sad delusion.

      I don’t know how to say it more clearly. You have no encouragement to offer. You’re an utterly useless noise.

  2. I remember my mom refusing my hand as we prayed her into her passing coma. Hurt me then, hurts me now. We love our parents, but they are human and flawed. I miss her more today than four years ago when she died. Our family is praying for yours.
    -mike

      1. Jb, can you not just receive the encouragement? I have been where are now, losing both of my parents and standing vigil at their bedside waiting for the inevitable. Please just receive the encouragement.
        -mike

        1. Mike, can you not see that what you’re offering isn’t encouragement?
          Pretty words are NOT encouraging.

        2. I am not encouraged by empty platitudes, Mike. My family tragedy doesn’t magically endow significance on your insipid philosophy. Your “encouragement” is a hollow sham.

          1. Pastor Mike needs to be affirmed. “What a thoughtful thing to say, Mike. Thank you for your prayers! You’re a very nice person!”

            He can pound sand.

          2. I told Tildeb all of his artistic words are just blowing sunshine up people’s skirts. Of course, he took offense… He said, “If you only knew what death and dying involved… in so many of its facets… you wouldn’t be quite so flippant regarding what others do to exercise real world compassion. And the most useful element of hospice? No bullshit…”

            He’s wrong, of course, and I told him so. This is what I said:

            “If biology is mindless then anything it produces MUST be meaningless. Ultimately, you’re only here typing words into this forum because your brain chemicals invented some meaning for it. That’s YOUR THESIS…
            Regardless of what your brain is telling you, nothing ultimately matters. Funny how when someone else’s brain derives meaning from spiritual reality, then they are spouting ‘bullshit.’ But when YOUR brain assigns meaning to death, then your sermons are ‘compassionate’ and ‘artistic.’

            I hate to break it to you, Tildeb. But–unless God was intentional about coding a world of right and wrong–your so-called ‘compassion’ for dying people is just more emotional bullshit.”

          3. These godless cretins bang the gong for a world free of “religion” then offer “kind thoughts” without realizing that those thoughts are irrelevant apart from religion. Fools.

            Of course, now the focus will be on my arrogant rejection of Mike’s sentiments. I’ll be the bad guy for not appreciating the sentiments of his convoluted paganism.

            Too bad. I don’t bow to idols.

          4. Yep–if you can’t say something true, don’t say anything at all.

            I’d literally rather have an Unbeliever tell me, “Meh, none of this really matters anyway!” than to use the word “pray” mindlessly.

            My grandpa is dying. I don’t have time for bullshit.

          5. (Side Note: maybe you should take a screenshot of the “condolences” from That Other Ridiculous Non-Believer, before the comments disappear from our spam folder. They provide a perfect example of why well-wishes from the godless are jokes…not to be taken seriously.)

  3. So very sorry to hear about your Dad. Parental relationships are often heavily mined, making them difficult to navigate without blowing yourself up. It’s beyond painful when the only resolution is that there is no resolution. Asking for God’s peace for you and your family.

  4. All of these heartfelt notes from people who were created by an ordered/intelligent mind are very encouraging…

    We’ve also gotten many comments from spam robots this week, saying things like, “This post is the best thing I’ve ever read on the internet!” Those aren’t quite as meaningful, since they come from soulless machines. 🙂

    Thank you, everyone, who is thinking of our family out of genuine concern and not just trying to find a way to get around The Rules. (I am a stickler for The Rules.)

    https://johnbranyan.com/how-to-end-christianity-by-dinner-time/#comment-20274

    https://johnbranyan.com/how-to-spot-a-muddled-thinker/#comment-20640

  5. Please know that I’m truly sorry about your family’s ordeal surrounding your father. Despite his problems, he still is your father and the grandfather to your children. You have a lot of memories—good and bad—to remind you of him. You are correct, though, that we need to be mindful of our words and the limited time the Lord has given us on this planet. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing these words with your Christian community. God bless you.

  6. I am sorry for your grief and frustration, sad about your dad. I will lift you up in prayer, I will ask the Lord to make His presence known to you.

    I call that slipping in under the radar, the way God can bypass our arrogance, fly past our alleged capacity for reason, and slip into our hearts. He will never leave us or forsake us.

    Also, arrogant though it maybe, I am absolutely certain I can say, “see you later.” One way or another we will meet by the coffee fountain in the courtyard where the streets are paved with gold. Who makes it there is in God’s perfect hands, His love and mercy for people, far greater than mine.

  7. This is a great reminder to be careful with the words we say and appreciate the life we have been given. It is a very fragile gift and we are not in control of how long we have it.

    I wish you well in the pursuit of humility I am also on that journey and learning to be humble is tough.

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