There is some disagreement regarding who invented the first automobile.
On the short list are these names:
- Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot
- Robert Anderson
- Karl Friedrich Benz
- George Baldwin Selden
- Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler
- Charles Edgar Duryea
- Elwood Haynes
This is a dilemma for sure!
Fortunately, we can use atheist reasoning to solve the mystery.
- There is more than one person claiming to be the first.
- It is impossible for all of them to be the first.
- Therefore, the automobile is a myth.
Sorry to break it to you.
Your car isn’t real.
Neither is Jesus, by the way:
See the logic?
- Multiple people claim to be Messiah
- Only one person can actually be Messiah
- Therefore, nobody is a Messiah
The same logic works to wipe God out of existence.
- There are thousands of different ideas about God.
- All the different ideas can’t be right.
- Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
So that’s it.
Case closed.
…except for one little problem.
People exist.
So how did we get here?
The answer: Evolution!
Evolution explains everything.
Including the cars!
Cars evolved from simple machines, naturally, over millions of years.
No inventor needed.
Karl Benz, Elwood Haynes, and the rest are fanciful superstitions.
They are “inventors of the gaps”.
Created by powerful industrialists to control the masses.
The gullible, primitive masses who desperately wanted to believe in personal transportation.
Anyone who says otherwise is deluded.
69 Responses
Hello, Gunslinger, how’s the praying going? Seen any results yet?
We’ve been praying that God would command you to keep commenting.
Apparently you are a righteous man, John, as they seem to be working.
God works in mysterious way, eh JB?
Not mysterious.
“Please, God, demonstrate how you make fools of those who claim to be wise.”
Now we wait for that prayer to be answered with your next comment!
Amazing! And obviously Yahweh convinced you to believe you are funny.
See? Prayer really does work. Hallelujah.
Recently heard a quote that states: “Your life is too valuable to waste by trusting your own best thinking.” Ark might consider valuing his life a little more.
Ooh, there’s a gem. Thank you, Jasmime.
Actually, I usually base a lot of my life on evidence.
Like putting on a seat belt and not smoking.
I don’t think I would be as brave as you, Jasmine, and base my life on a book riddled with fraud, interpolation, geological,historical and biological nonsense.
That seems rather scary to me. So one has to wonder why on earth anyone would put their faith … oops sorry, trust in such patent absurdity. Why do you do this for, Jasmine?
“Evidence” like putting on a seat belt and not smoking? Neither of those things are evidence of anything. They are proof of nothing in and of themselves. I guess if this is your understanding of “evidence”, then it’s no wonder why you believe in evolution. You espouse a worldview defined by what evidence you can see, hear, feel and taste, yet none of these senses prove how the world came into being. Evidence is much a mystery to you as is common sense.
On the other hand I’ve watched a man be prayed for and saw his short leg grow to its rightful length before my eyes. But of course, that would’ve been nothing more than a chemical reaction behind my eyes, right?
The fact that you are so closed-minded that you haven’t a single doubt about your understanding of Christianity is what frightens me.
Evidence shows that smoking is clearly the strongest risk factor for lung cancer, causing 80% of lung cancer deaths.
Evidence demonstrates that wearing a seat belt greatly reduces the chances of death and/or injury in the event of a collision.
Evidence.
Or are you going to play semantics once again Jasmine merely to demonstrate just how obtuse and thick as lard you really are?
You obviously have little or no understanding of what the term evolution actually means and this is the reason you cling to your delusional worldview.
Go and do an hour’s study for goodness’ sake, even if only to familiarize yourself with the terms.
As for your story of a leg growing before your very eyes!
Well, wow. Simply wow.
And what was the medical diagnosis afterwards?
I am also going to presume you had the integrity to have the leg thoroughly examined by a medical professional before and after praying of course, yes?
And if you are seriously going to cling to your belief in the efficacy of intercessory prayer, then why are you not wondering why your god is such a capricious fuck that he doesn’t cure Branyan’s father or the several thousand children who will have died from preventable diseases or plain starvation in the time it took you to open your fucking laptop and log on?
I am a great believer in not being close-minded. This is why I am not religious and why I don not believe corpses come back to life and dinosaurs did not run around with human beings and the entire world was not flooded and there was no wooden boat with lots of animals and a single incestuous family.
It is also why I no longer believe in the historicity of such characters as Adam and Eve, Abraham,Moses and why the Exodus and Conquest is simply geopolitical fiction.
It is because I was open-minded enough to research as much evidence as I could – from as many experts in these areas as I could find. Including Christians such as Francis Collins,
It is also why I probably know far more about the history of Christianity and the bible than you.
And when you are recognise the difference between open-minded and being credulous that you will also stop this nonsensical pretense and begin to study and understand that sin is a vile religious construct and a life viewed through rose-tinted glasses is not nearly as amazing as when you take the glasses off.
Why should it bother you that people are starving or dying? Like you’ve said many times, you don’t believe in God’s existence. You exist. What are you doing about the poverty-stricken? And if God were to exist, suddenly you make Him the bad guy because He is apparently not doing what you think He should be. You’re inconsistent with your own philosophy.
How do you know smoking is bad for you? Tell me, have you ever cut open a lung? Have you run your own medical experiments to test the effect of smoke on human flesh?
Why does it even bother you that I believe what I believe? Why waste your time here? Of what benefit is it to you? Ark, the only thing you have ever done is prove how well studied you are at the art of slander and groundless ridicule. The only reason you spend so much time tearing down the Christian philosophy is because you cannot defend a grain of your own. In fact, it is because you believe in a LACK of belief, that the only thing you CAN do is attack other people’s. You cannot defend a void. You cannot defend meaninglessness.
You cannot be open-minded if you refuse to even consider the opposing view, which you refuse to look at through any other lens except for your own finite understanding. You accuse me of wearing the glasses.
You have no credibility but your own egotistical opinion. Why should I listen to you tell me what is vile? You have no standard for what that word even means.
Why should I listen to you? Why should I listen to anyone? Why should I have gotten a medical professor to examine the leg? Are doctors perfect? Do they set the standard for what reality is? How do I know that for sure? Why should I listen to any human being on this planet who are just as capable of mistakes and corruption as I am? Do you ever ask yourself these questions? Who gives you the authority to tell me what’s true and what isn’t?
There are better atheists than you who at least have the humility to admit what they do not know nor understand. Arguing with you is like arguing with the wind. All noise, no substance, except for what dust it can find to stir up.
I wonder if Ark will be able to find any questions in your comment, Jasmine.
Lol!
@Jasmine
Which perfectly illustrates why you simply do not take the time to read properly or even bother to regard anything outside you death-cult religion.
Of course I am open-minded to consider the opposing view!
How the Gehenna do you think I arrived ( with most of the world, by the way) at the evidence-based conclusion that your fundamentalist Christian worldview is palpable garbage!
It was by researching the history of your religion
and its monstrously arrogant and vile claims that I discovered how utterly stupid, irresponsible and blatantly false Christianity is.
Even devout Christians such as HGP founder Francis Collins recognize that evolution,for example, is fact.
If you wish to doubt the overwhelming evidence regarding such things as cigarettes and cancer, however, or any other evidence-based conclusions drawn by scientists, then feel free to smoke your self stupid, don’t vaccinate your kids, and if you break a limb stay at home don’t take any medicine – antibiotics or painkillers – and pray until it mends itself.
Oh, and if it doesn’t mend itself and you end up a partial cripple, or develop gangrene, then this can only mean one of two things, obviously:
Either you are a lousy Christian with not the right amount of faith or Yahweh is the capricious fucking monster I say he is.
(There seems no point is suggesting he is simply make believe of course)
.
Demonstrating once again that the mind of a fool is a single track headed for a cliff.
*Smile*
I am happy, healthy and comfortable … no god needed.
You keep taking them happy tabs, Jasmine. And don’t forget to recommend the healer who can grow legs to the UN so’s they can send him/her/them down to Africa. And give me a shout when they do, okay? Plenty of work for such a miracle worker I can assure you.
The people of SA want to be healed, but they don’t want to stop kidnapping and raping each other, eh?
Interesting.
Maybe they should decide whether they want God or just want His control.
@MrsMcMommy
Yes, our two countries do have some dubious records.
As for your god: I wonder the same thing about you and your daddy, Gunslinger.
It does not seem that your god has helped you or him out in any shape or form.
Do you ever wonder why?
LOL!
“Dubious records…”
(He means South Africa was ranked second highest in assaults/murders per capita–and number one in rapes–from a study of 60 countries. How typical of someone incapable of conversation to pretend it’s an equally big problem in the United States.)
I wonder how many of those murdering rapists would identify as Christians.
Ark shouldn’t have a problem with rape anyway. It’s natural for the strong to dominate the weak. Evolution!
Maybe that’s a common way of thinking in his country!
I prayed last night that God would help me be at peace with whatever happened. Whether I got lots of rest or had to stay up with the baby… And I had a great night.
I did NOT pray that God would force people in South Africa to act like good Christians. And would you look at that! It’s a Hell hole.
Atheists don’t mind a god they can boss around. A tiny little god that performs magic tricks at their whim.
They don’t like a God that makes them play my His rules.
“Make my legs longer!!! Now!” “And while you’re at it, I want that woman over there! Aw never mind, I can just take her myself, since you’re too impotent.”
–The self-serving rapists in South Africa, probably
“Thank you, god, for making me powerful enough to exert my will over that female.”
Shows what you know, Ark. You wouldn’t believe how many miracles Christians who work in Africa see. I’d suggest taking a trip over with one of several organisations but we all know nothing can wake a man who is pretending to be asleep. Your eyes are closed, and nothing will ever convince you to open them.
https://youtu.be/7lbX7VxlrJQ
We know for certain that cars already existed in biblical times.
Exodus 15:7 states: “you send out your Fury”
Psalm 83:15 says: “pursue them with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”
And Acts 5:12 informs us the apostles had a Honda:
“and with one Accord the believers gathered together in Solomon’s Colonnade.”
And Ezekiel 1:16 tells us they had spinners:
“…their appearance and construction being as it were a wheel within a wheel.”
I loved this part of the bible especially after reading Chariots of the Gods author, Erik Von Daniken, who suggested Ezekiel might have witnessed an alien spacecraft of some kind.
Yahweh: ”We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!”
Okay, now everyone knows you are a fundamentalist moron.
Sure, no prob. Although your inability to answer a simple question makes you look about as stupid as me.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, can you actually answer the question?
Were cars invented, and if yes, what leads you to believe such?
I reckon the same method that has led many a blogger on Word press to realise you are a very troubled man with some quite profound emotional and intellectual issues would be a similar method to deduce whether cars were invented. Namely: Begin with the evidence.
So, no answer
Interesting
Well, obviously evidence is not an answer for you , Wally, as you believe the earth is no more than 10,000 years old and dinosaurs ran around with humans all the live long day … tra la la.
So please help out and tell me what sort of answer were you looking for?
I honestly can’t think of a way to satisfy your demand for an answer if I don’t include evidence?
Were you expecting something along the lines of ”Abracadabra?”
What evidence? Citations please.
Are all atheists this bad at humor? Or is Ark his own special kind?
Atheists tend to take themselves pretty seriously. Nothing kills humor faster than self-importance.
Spoken like a true expert! I salute your first-hand experience in this regard Mr. B.
Hi, Jeff.
Yes, It was rather weak, I agree.
But please try to appreciate that attempting to top the humour of those punting Creationism is going to be an impossible mountain to climb.
I sit at the feet in total awe of Master Creationist Guru John Branyan wondering how the Gehenna he gets away with all the stuff he punts?
I shall let you in on a secret: These days I am beginning to believe JB uses some form of Evangelical Jedi Mind Trick on his family and his audience because no normal person could be that credulous.
My mind is BLOWN!!!
And here I thought atheism was stupid. It seems it was WE who were fools to believe something as natural as CARS needed an intelligent designer when they are not only made out of totally natural elements, but they are FAR less complex than a self replicating, autonomous, self repairing living cell.
Thank the unguided probabilities/chance for the wisdom of atheism.
Thank you, as always JB.
When one considers the waiting time for some new cars one could be forgiven for perhaps believing they are also part of the evolutionary process!
I’m with Jasmine
The god, He’sacummin masturbated onto the dry earth where the resultant goo, mixed with stones, dirt, a cabbage leaf and some pterodactyl droppings.
And the god He’sacummin said … ”Phew, well that was good”, and looked down at the result, waved his hands, said ”Oogity Boogity” and out of nowhere a Human appeared, and he called him Wally.
Just as the god He’sacummin was patting himself on the back for doing such a great piece of magic, a frakking great T-Rex appeared out of nowhere … having been created by He’sacummin ten minutes before – and ate poor Wally in one big mouthful.
And the god, He’sacummin said: ”What the fuck…!” and in a fit of pique wiped out all the dinosaurs in one fell swoop.
”Oh, well,” said He’sacummin. ”Shit happens. Perhaps I ought to slow things down about?”
”How about giving evolution a go, you dick?” said a voice in his head.
Hmmm. Now there’s thought, thought He’sacummin.
And it was so.
And it was good.
Yet another compelling intellectual powerhouse of an argument from Stone Head. I suppose if I had a lick of sense I would renounce my faith. Look, Ark, we all know I am a fundamentalist moron. The problem is…that is not actually a valid argument or evidence of anything(other than the fact that you are a flailing fool with nothing to offer but insults and diversions.)
Meanwhile back at the ranch, would it be too painful to address the post?
Have a nice day!
Dig-dug thinks vulgarity and arguments are interchangeable.
It’s rather sad, but true
@JB
Actually, there are a number of ancient religions that have quite similar Origin Myths.
In fact I am surprised you are unaware of them, especially when you consider the origin myth you adhere to. Made from clay and a rib wasn’t it?
I just added the name Wally to make him feel special.
Right.
That’s what I said, genius.
There are many origin myths which means God doesn’t exist.
Take your meds.
Well, based on the evidence of the firrt car … you are probably correct. No god.
However, maybe the miracle, technical brilliance of the Veyron or the sheer beauty of the of the koenigsegg or the Lambo … Hmm .. difficult to know which way to lean.
As a yank, you probably think god inspired the Corvette I suppose?
Also, a definite contender.
Corvettes evolved.
If you think otherwise you’re deluded.
@ Wally
The thrust of the post – aside from trying to take the piss out of Prof – was the rejection of Evolution. Or did you think it was about an old Mercedes Benz?
My little parody of a Creation Myth tried to marry both Creation ( and those good old dinos you so love) and God-Guided Evolution.
I thought, as you got to be the first Man, that you would have appreciated it.
And, Wally, please stop saying: ”….we all know I am a fundamentalist moron.”
I am sure that not everyone knows you are, all right?
So, Ark, are you saying cars were invented? Surely not.If so, based on what? Clearly the fact that multiple people claim they did means…duh..no one did.
The speed and ignorance with which Ark delivered on my expectations causes me to believe even more strongly that the universe is full of order and meaning.
I concur
Yawn … I think we are past that now Jasmine. Even JB’s audience wouldn’t laugh at it any more. Ask JB nicely and he will send you his tips on how to be funnier.
Ahem…focus Ark. You were asked a simple yes or no question. Sheesh.
You can do it, really you can
Was
The Automobile
Invented
by
Someone?
Not just
Someone
But
Probably
By
More than
One
Person.
Probably?
Ah, so you don’t know then? You take this on a certain amount of……faith.
Interesting.
So, what leads you to believe the automobile was invented? And which inventor?
Probably?
When someone like you uses the term know, do you mean was there at the time when the first designs were put down on paper?
For normal people ( not you, of course) I get such info from something as straightforward as my encyclopedias. Which I can cross-reference easily enough. And this is based on evidence rather than faith, which is what you adhere to, Wally..
Also I had a Ladybird book of the Car when was a kid and I still have a series of Brook Bond Tea cards from when around the same period stuck in an a album that gives the entire history of the car, which matches the information in the encyclopedia.
And there are no dinosaurs in it either!
You have enormous faith in the encyclopedia authors! Those people weren’t eye-witnesses to the invention of the car. They wrote years after the car was invented and they reference other authors who weren’t there either! Clearly, the invention of the automobile is geopolitical fiction.
(Also–he didn’t answer the question. WHICH inventor??? I’m dying to know whether Elwood Haynes was it!)
You’re so dumb! Didn’t you read my article?
There IS not inventor. If an inventor existed, we would expect 100% unanimous agreement about his identity. The controversy is proof that the automobile inventor is myth.
But…
I want to see Ark’s cross reference encyclopedias, just in case.
You know the encyclopedias were written by religious men in order to exert power over the masses, right?
I’ll consider that.
Ah…I see.
A book
Interesting, but I see John and Amanda have already dealt with this.
Oh I wasn’t trying to be funny. That’s the funny part.
Well, that’s all right then as I didn’t even smile.
Can’t wait to see how this one goes down.
It will likely be ignored.