Hello Sinners! Goodbye Church!

** Trigger Warning **

The following post features tons of intolerance.

This is the story of a boy.

He became a preacher, like his father.

Then his father became a woman.

This upset the boy a lot.

Then the boy got over it because of Jesus or something.

And this church now affirms active homosexuals as Christians.

The church says “affirms” because it’s stronger than “welcomes”.

Unrepentant sinners are encouraged to participate in leadership roles.

Encouraged to teach the Bible to lost folks who may not understand it.

Some Bible passages are tricky to understand:

But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching, according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted.  – 1 Timothy 1:8

Sinners will need help unpacking complex scripture like this.

Bring in a gay guy!

If you can’t find a gay person, recruit a liar…

…or a murderer.

Really, anyone who operates contrary to sound teaching is an acceptable teacher.

No…not just “acceptable”…


Because Jesus LOVED immorality!

He was super chill about sin.

He was always saying stuff like, “God made you good. Just be yourself.”**

He told an adulteress woman, “It’s no big deal.” **

He didn’t judge the guys that robbed the good Samaritan!**

He was told the Pharisees, “Stop being self-righteous!  The kingdom of heaven belongs to unrighteous people.”**

He told his disciples, “Just do what feels right in your heart.”**

And those words became the foundation of Westernized Christian doctrine.

Praise the Lord.

**I didn’t cite scripture for these quotes because there isn’t any. Somewhere in the Bible (I think) it says the Word of God will be interpreted differently as culture changes.  So in the words of Jesus himself, “Love wins.”

**Also…this is satire. (It saddens me that I need to say that.)

5 thoughts on “Hello Sinners! Goodbye Church!

    • Ed says:

      I find it disturbing when these people are talking about Sin they never Define what’s sin is. Because that would make this discussion complicated. Sin is the transgression of the law the Ten Commandments. Just like they throw the phrase born again around but never Define what born again is

  1. What continues to baffle me, as a parent, as one in any form of leadership, your first thought should be, so how will my behavior impact others?

    Pastor not far from here came out as gay, everyone is very supportive, but no one ever speaks of the wife he has now left alone to raise four small kids, the congregation he split in half, the pain his parents are going through, the sense of betrayal from those who paid his way through school, or the eyes of people like me watching, who know you can’t even count on leadership to stand up for biblical truth.

    The problem being, no one is an island, so we don’t sin alone, we take others along for the ride with us.

    • John Branyan says:

      Great points.

      For the sake of “inclusiveness” we ignore certain sins. In the same spirit of the “inclusiveness” we silence the “hateful and divisive” voices of those who would call out hypocrisy. The church shouldn’t be a safe place. Especially when safety comes at the cost of truth.

  2. I’m amazed at how many people in the university setting who seem to think that the philosophy that teaches that everything is acceptable is somehow Christlike. They forget that God forbids things to protect us from pain and harm, not to keep us from having fun, being ourselves, or experiencing life. Sad, they don’t know Christ at all.

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