** Trigger Warning **
The following post features tons of intolerance.
He became a preacher, like his father.
Then his father became a woman.
This upset the boy a lot.
Then the boy got over it because of Jesus or something.
And this church now affirms active homosexuals as Christians.
The church says “affirms” because it’s stronger than “welcomes”.
Unrepentant sinners are encouraged to participate in leadership roles.
Encouraged to teach the Bible to lost folks who may not understand it.
Some Bible passages are tricky to understand:
But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching, according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted. – 1 Timothy 1:8
Sinners will need help unpacking complex scripture like this.
Bring in a gay guy!
If you can’t find a gay person, recruit a liar…
…or a murderer.
Really, anyone who operates contrary to sound teaching is an acceptable teacher.
No…not just “acceptable”…
Because Jesus LOVED immorality!
He was super chill about sin.
He was always saying stuff like, “God made you good. Just be yourself.”**
He told an adulteress woman, “It’s no big deal.” **
He didn’t judge the guys that robbed the good Samaritan!**
He was told the Pharisees, “Stop being self-righteous! The kingdom of heaven belongs to unrighteous people.”**
He told his disciples, “Just do what feels right in your heart.”**
And those words became the foundation of Westernized Christian doctrine.
Praise the Lord.
**I didn’t cite scripture for these quotes because there isn’t any. Somewhere in the Bible (I think) it says the Word of God will be interpreted differently as culture changes. So in the words of Jesus himself, “Love wins.”
**Also…this is satire. (It saddens me that I need to say that.)