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Jesus Doesn’t Welcome Sinners

The internet allows knowledge to spread quickly around the world.

The internet allows stupidity to spread just as quickly.

Actually, stupidity spreads faster than knowledge.

Acquiring knowledge requires a little effort.

Stupidity soaks in by osmosis.

Osmosis will teach you that Jesus was inclusive.

Stupidity raises no questions about statements like this:

“We know Jesus as loving and kind, but he was also a passionate advocate for change. History indicates he was a witty philosopher and a bold reformer. He is perhaps best known for reaching out to the disenfranchised—the women, the poor, the oppressed, the sick, the lepers, the tax collectors. Jesus made it clear that the kingdom of God—the here-and-now possibility of perfection on earth—was for everyone.

At the risk of upsetting the Jesus-was-a-social-reformer-who-loved-everyone-and-tolerated-everything folks…

…this is pretty stupid.

Jesus was not an ADVOCATE for change.

Jesus WAS the change.

Without Christ, we’re dead in our sins.

This was the repeated theme of his ‘witty philosophy’.

I am the way, the truth and the life…

He didn’t say, “I KNOW the way.”

And as for ‘reaching out to the disenfranchised’…

…your list is too short.

We were ALL disenfranchised from God.

(The Bible term is ‘sinners’ but I know that’s an ugly word that makes you feel icky and judged.)

Jesus was clear about what will happen when you decide to stay ‘disenfranchised’.

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.” – Mat. 7:21

Nowhere.

Absolutely nowhere.

Did Jesus even hint at a ‘ here-and-now possibility of perfection on earth’.

The kingdom of heaven is NOT for ‘everyone’.

Jesus does not welcome sinners into God’s family.

Jesus welcomes sinless people into God’s family.

He’s very exclusive.

He’s completely intolerant of selfishness, wickedness, and rebelliousness.

 

There will be no unity until sin is removed.

And Jesus is the ONLY way to remove sin.

 

The Evolution of Evolution

Biology, philosophy, mathematics and ‘Evolution’ are not friends.

You wouldn’t know that unless you occasionally read things that aren’t atheist drivel.

I feel kinda bad for Evolution.

It started out as a simple, happy-go-lucky theory about life on Earth.

But as it aged, it got cranky.

Evolution is now a wrinkled curmudgeon shrieking at other sciences, “Get off my lawn!”

I feel bad because this isn’t entirely Evolution’s fault.

The fault lies, ironically, with the theory’s most enthusiastic supporters.

Atheists!

Or…humanists, free-thinkers, Brights, anti-theists, pagans, heathen, godless, intellectuals, omniscient super-beings…

…whatever you want to call them.

They put too much pressure on Evolution.

They set expectations too high.

They won’t let it be a happy-go-lucky explanation for the diversity of life on Earth.

Now, Evolution is expected to explain EVERYTHING.

It is supposed to explain something coming from nothing.

It is supposed to explain the origins of life.

It is supposed to explain consciousness.

It is supposed to explain morality.

It is supposed to explain emotions.

And it just can’t do it!

No single theory should be expected to explain all that!

(I mean, no single SECULAR theory….)

That’s a lot of pressure on a hapless hypothesis.

And Evolution has cracked under that pressure.

So next time Evolution snaps at you, respond gently.

It’s having a rough time these days.

It’s Time To Quit Loving Your Church

 

If you’ve been alive and literate for more than 15 minutes, you’ve seen that phrase before.

 

It’s time to erase it.

Remove it from the T-shirts.

Scrape off the bumper stickers.

Uproot the signage from the front yard.

This message distracts from the church’s real message.

“I Love My Church” is like saying, “I Love Applebee’s”

The response is usually a shrug and a mumbled, “Good for you.”

I know what you’re going to say.

“John, people will ask why I love my church! Then I’ll tell them!”

Of course, you will.

You’ll tell them about the awesome children’s program.

You’ll tell them about the great music.

You’ll tell them your pastor preaches barefoot and is ‘really relatable’.

You’ll tell them nobody will judge them.

You’ll tell them there are 3 convenient service times.

You’ll tell them donuts and coffee are free.

And at the end of your sales pitch, they’ll shrug and mumble, “Good for you.”

But maybe not!

They might leave their current church and visit yours!

If your church offers better amenities, they might stick around awhile.

Until they encounter another “I Love My Church” T-shirt.

It’s taken a couple of generations for us to transform ‘The Church’ into an idol.

But we’ve finally succeeded!

The modern Church blots out the view of the Cross.

We’re happy to tell people about Jesus…

…later.

First, we gotta make them feel welcome!

We gotta get em’ in the door!

We gotta let them know they made the right choice on Sunday morning.

“Thanks for joining us! Thanks so very much! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

Harsh reality.

You don’t actually love your church.

You love your church ‘brand’.

The church is anyone, anywhere who follows Jesus.

Be honest.

That’s not what you were thinking when you put on that T-shirt.

Baby Predictions, Employment and Socialized Medicine

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In this EXTENDED EPISODE…The Farkas Family talks with me and Peaches about babies and socialism.  PLUS – Background noises provided by Emery Jane throughout the show!
 
Peaches knows the gender of her unborn child and refuses to tell us. Tabby has 100% success predicting the gender of children (prior to birth) and we quiz her about her own child.  I offer my guess based on sound, scientific investigation.
 
I try to explain how weird it is that we have a lot of Mike and Jennys. The kids don’t think it’s as weird as I do because they’re pretty disrespectful. I try to explain another bizarre coincidence but screw up the details inviting even more mockery.
 
It is apparently illegal in the Farkas family to have a child in the month of August.
 
Eventually, we get around to criticizing Tabby because she accuses us of being argumentative when SHE is the one who argues. She tells us we’re wrong which just proves our point.
 
I reveal the only things that REALLY matters to me. Then we attack Tabby for her outrageous views on minimum wage.
 
Tabby tells a story from where she works. We all decide that Tabby is actually a troll. She should live under a bridge and eat goats.
 
Then the Tabster hypothesizes that career women don’t like their careers. This is such a shockingly anti-feminist view that I’m on the verge of fainting just typing this sentence.
 
Immigration comes up and we try to figure it all out because we’re patriots who love our country. We fail. Sorry, America.
 
There is a problem with equating legality with morality. And the law shouldn’t be broken just because there’s a hurricane.
 
To some folks, separation of church and state means religious people should never speak in public. We are not those folks.
 
When we start talking about labor laws, we get into some disagreements. So we remind you, Pkarlgh, disagreements do not mean we hate each other.
 
Joe explains that employers want to pay employees the minimum possible. That’s true. I have trouble convincing him that crappy employees are not desirable for the bottom line.
 
Generally speaking, insurance and health care is a gigantic mess. We don’t figure this out either. Sorry, America (again).
 
I tell my aircraft engine repairman vs. floor sweeping guy story. It’s something I’m very proud of that nobody else seems to appreciate.
 
Peaches explains that money is a symbol that represents an agreement. Nobody appreciates this sentiment either.
 
Morality and ethics can’t be forced on anybody. Immoral people will break the laws.
 
I had a conversation with a friend who told me he didn’t trust “rich people”.  He didn’t seem to understand that the government (who he did trust) was made up of rich people.
 
The episode closes with the Tabby and Joe leaving so Joe can sleep and Tabby can do some voice-over recordings. If you want to hire Tabby to sell your product, hit me up on Facebook and I’ll put you in touch with her. (If you want to sell swimming pools, DEFINITELY get in touch with her.)
 

Check out this episode!

We Value Your Opinion!

I get this stuff all the time.

“Take a minute to let us know how we’re doing.”

“Fill out this survey, we value your opinion!”

“Send feedback on your recent experience with us.”

My opinion matters.

I’m thrilled to share my wisdom.

“Let me tell you the truth about your chalupas…”

Companies clamor to hear my thoughts.

And I’m making a difference!

I’m making the world…no…

…I’m making the Universe a better place to live.

Because of me, hotel pillows are fluffier.

Pizza crusts are tastier.

Grocery store coupons are more convenient.

Yeah. I’m responsible for all those things and much, much more.

There’s one internationally recognized brand that refers to me as “Elite”.

I can show you the card if you don’t believe me.

Every day I’m reassured that my opinions are priceless.

My thoughts are super-important.

It’s not a problem until the church starts to believe this.

And the mission becomes excellent customer service.

“Tell us what music you like!”

“Tell us what you think of our new Children’s Center!”

“Tell us which Bible verses offend you so we can avoid them!”

Ugh.

The church must stop asking people for their opinions.

There are thousands of places to go and offer your opinion.

The church is the only place to go and hear the truth.

And the truth is, my opinion isn’t all that valuable.

2 Jobs Donald Trump Can’t Do

Politics has become so political.

And by political, I mean mindless.

Politics has little to do with laws or policies anymore.

Politics is mostly about feelings.

We don’t want a ‘good’ President.

We want a ‘compassionate’ President.

We want the President to feel our pain.

We want the President to come to our house and gather storm debris from our yard.

In a crisis, we expect the President to write us a check.

We insist that the President spend every day proving to us that he cares.

For that, we need to be ashamed of ourselves.

These are 2 jobs the President cannot do…

Donald Trump cannot write compassionate laws.

Mostly because Presidents aren’t lawmakers.

Congress is supposed to do that.

But we’re pretty dumb in America and we let former Presidents write some laws.

Supposedly, these laws were examples of compassion.

Again, that’s dumb.

Laws cannot be compassionate.

Laws are just rules.

Rules are morally neutral.

You decide the morality of a rule for yourself.

If you are an illegal immigrant with the benefits of a US citizen, you’ll feel the DACA is compassionate.

If you had a family member murdered by an illegal immigrant, you’ll feel differently about the DACA.

The point is, the President cannot make everybody happy.

The other point is that you’re a selfish imbecile if you expect the President to make YOU happy.

Federal laws are supposed to be beneficial FOR THE COUNTRY AS A WHOLE.

In any specific law, it is the job of individual citizens to be compassionate.

It’s YOUR job to be compassionate.

Donald Trump cannot take care of you.

I sincerely feel sorry for you if this news shocks you.

I know you heard some promises during the Presidential campaign.

Here’s another harsh bit of reality.

Politicians say things that aren’t true just so you’ll vote for them.

Yep.

Candidates lie to voters.

If you’ve ever cast a vote because you were promised some personal reward, you’ve been duped.

Now, dry your tears and learn a lesson.

You will not personally benefit from every law enacted by the Government.

Laws, by nature, always restrict freedom…NEVER create it.

Donald Trump can’t think about you all the time.

There are other people in the country.

It’s time to put aside your selfish crusade for ‘compassion’.

Start a personal journey to discover ’empathy’.

The Reason It’s Okay For God To Kill Children

So many idiotic statements to choose from online.

It’s hard to pick a favorite.

But if I ever put together a ‘greatest hits of idiocy’, this would be on the list:

“God kills people and that breaks His own commandment!”

Often this statement is modified to include words like “decent”, “innocent”, and “children”.

The logic is as follows:

  1.  God said killing is a sin.
  2. God kills.
  3. So…God commits sin.

But even though the logic is sound, the thinking is flawed.

Here’s a little story that might clear up the error.

Suppose you told a toddler that it is wrong to color on the walls.

You firmly instruct the child, “Only make marks on paper. Never on the walls!”

The child obediently confines all coloring, drawing, and illustrating to the provided paper.

Then…one day…

…the child comes into the room and discovers you painting the walls.

Outraged, the child screams:

“You’re marking on the walls! You’re bad!”

You have two options at this point

  1. The Fundamentalist Option
  2. The Non-Fundamentalist Option

The Fundamentalist Option

This option is by far the easiest.

  • Scold the child for questioning your authority.
  • Demand that the child apologizes for sassing you.
  • Reaffirm that you are not accountable to children for your actions.

Finish painting and invite some friends over for a Bible study.

The Non-Fundamentalist Option

This option requires a bit of patience and thoughtfulness.

  • Explain to the child that you own the walls and can do what you please with them.
  • And when you mark on the wall, it is for different reasons than when the child marks on the wall.

In other words…

…adults are not bound by the same rules as children.

This is why it’s okay for God to kill people.

God gives life in the first place.

Nobody births themselves.

God creates babies.

He can do whatever He wants with the babies He creates.

And He always does what’s right.

He is on record as saying He loves children.

So when He removes a child from the Earth…He has a good reason for it.

With God involved, death is not permanent.

Accusing God of breaking His own rules is like yelling at grown-ups for painting on the walls.

Or scolding your parents for breaking the curfew they set for you.

Parents are not children.

And…

God is the ultimate parent.

He is not subject to the laws He established for His children.

So quit saying stupid things about God being immoral.

And go to your room.

The Best Reason To Quit Being A Christian

There aren’t a lot of good reasons to leave the Christian faith.

Most of the reasons people give for leaving Christianity are irrational.

Muddled emotionalism causes folks to jump ship.

Out of the proverbial frying pan into an incoherent religious gobbledygook.

Some people claim to be non-religious.

Which is itself a religious claim.

It is impossible to leave ‘religion’.

But leaving Christianity is quite doable.

And there is one…

and only one…

…good reason for abandoning Christianity.

You don’t like the Bible.

Maybe you don’t like the stories of God’s wrath.

Maybe you don’t like church discipline.

Maybe you don’t like the rules regarding sex.

Maybe you think God is too hung-up on ‘sin’.

Whatever.

Why do you want to identify as a Christian anyway?

The Bible is the rulebook.

You don’t like the rules.

So quit playing the game!

You’re like the guy who wants to join the swim team but doesn’t want to get wet.

Or the chick who joins the chess club then complains that they don’t play Backgammon.

If you don’t like Christianity…quit.

Go be a Buddhist.

Or worship Mother Nature.

Or start your own church!

(This is probably the most lucrative option.)

Just stop whining about it.

Jesus repelled a lot of people during his brief ministry.

At least those people gave Him the courtesy of going away.

The rich young ruler didn’t keep showing up day after day to accuse Christ of intolerance.

Christianity isn’t for everyone.

It’s for the wretched, helpless, fools who realize their lives are a mess.

If that’s not you then take a hike.

Harvey, Joel Osteen, The Nashville Controversy

THIS EPISODE: Hurricane Harvey and The Nashville Statement
Turns out, every hurricane has a name! Which helps make the catastrophe personal, I guess. Peaches tells me about the hurricanes she remembers.
We discuss the stuff that people send to hurricane victims that maybe hurricane victims don’t actually need. It’s the thought that counts!  That’s true but teddy bears are still less practical than food.
Never been in a hurricane personally but I have survived a few tornadoes. It’s important to prioritize activities during a disaster. This is something that not everybody is good at doing. Then Peaches tunes me out while I’m explaining this…
And Joel Osteen.  I’ve had to defend Joel Osteen recently. This does not please me.
One of our favorite topics come up again…the Peach’s arrogance. Then we try to figure out whether or not it’s a good idea to keep prayer small at first until you get better at it…
Peaches tells one of my favorite stories about how she fell in love with Luke anyway even after he destroyed her science project.
Then, back on track…Joel Osteen has his flaws but I don’t think he actually HATES people. And I don’t think he’s glad Houston was flooded.
Briefly we mention that God ‘not stopping’ the hurricane and God ‘causing’ the hurricane are the same idea. Then we retreat from the topic because that’s a can of worms for another day.
Judging concepts is not the same a judging people. When the goal is to discuss a principle, it doesn’t matter which specific person possesses the principle.
It seems likely that people who don’t like Joel Osteen would be critical of the poor guy not matter what he did after the hurricane.  When we start quoting the Bible to other people without first applying it to ourselves…we should maybe, possibly, perhaps, back up a bit.
Finally, we get around to offending our own church people. We ask why we wouldn’t employ Osteen’s tactics in order to emulate his success. C’mon, the guy is fabulously successful!  Why are the other church guys upset with him?
Sometimes, it’s not Christianity that attracts people to church.
And then the Nashville Statement.  The outrage! The shocking statement that stunned the world by declaring that Christians get their doctrine from the Bible.
It’s unbelievable!!!!
What’s stunning is how many Christian (pastors!) would rather have good relationships with sinners than tell sinners the truth.
John Pavlovitz sounds off on the Nashville Statement because he’s much more in tune with God’s thoughts than “evangelicals”….and Scripture. (I’m not a John Pavlovitz fan either.) Peaches keeps reading from his blog despite my desperate pleas that she stop.
Peaches started a new blog. You can see it here: https://fundiessaythedarndestthings.wordpress.com/
If you don’t want to be a Christian, then leave the faith. Stop hanging around and griping about Christian doctrine. Just go ahead and reject the Bible and be on your way!
Weird how I’m hateful for taking a Biblical position while everyone who rejects the Bible is tolerant.
Peaches reads the most recent ad hominem she’s received. It’s still warm from the idiot oven!
An anti-Christian ‘insult’ turns out to be the perfect explanation of Christianity. It breaks the irony meter.
Quickly, we return to criticizing Christians who can’t deal with questions.

Check out this episode!

Be Careful Where You Get Your Windpipe

This article should serve as a cautionary tale.

When you’re replacing your breathing tube, shop around a bit.

Don’t just swallow the advice of every supposed expert.

It seems that even medical science is not immune to corruption.

To summarize the article:

Surgeon Paolo Macchiarini was hailed for turning the dream of regenerative medicine into a reality – until he was exposed as a con artist and false prophet.

A celebrated celebrity surgeon turns out to be a fraud?!

How is this possible?

Take a deep breath.

Researchers are human beings with egos and imperfect judgment.

Scientists are not infallible.

Fame and fortune can disrupt the quest for knowledge.

This is certainly true in the church.

(Hello, mega-celebrity-pastor-authors-with-books-more-popular-than-the-Bible)

But the church is not the only repository that maintains misleading ministers.

The hallowed halls of ‘science’ house hocus as well.

Be careful where you place your faith.

A misplaced trust can make you choke.