Short version of this story:

Drunk guy climbs over fence into bear cage.

Bears chew off his arm.

Everyone admits it was a bad idea.

It is suggested the bear’s owner pay the guy because he’s now disabled.

The most encouraging part of this story: it happened in Russia!

If you’ve been concerned about Russian influence in America…

…relax.

We’ve already influenced Russia.

Obviously, they’ve been spying on us.

They’ve hacked our crybaby culture.

It’s only a matter of time before they become…

…a nation full of victims.

(This was probably Trump’s idea all along!)

Selfishness is a powerful weapon of mass destruction.

Expecting a Cafe’ owner to pay for bear related injuries is amateur level victimhood.

Russians are smart, though.

They’ll figure it out.

When they start demanding payment for:

  • insult to dignity
  • crying
  • “mental rape”
  • feeling stupid
  • loss of pride

…we know our plan is working.

When people actually GET PAYED for these grievances…

…the USSR goes down the tubes.

Of course, we won’t be around to celebrate.

Because we unleashed this weapon on ourselves decades ago.

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