Recently, I learned about the Playboy Mansion.

I thought it was just a sex den.

According to this video, I was wrong.

It was also the childhood home of Cooper Hefner.

Cooper is the son of Hugh Hefner.

Presumably,  Cooper also has a mother but she isn’t mentioned in the video.

Which is fine, really.

She probably doesn’t look good topless anymore.

Besides, the video is about how awesome it was to live in the Playboy Mansion!

Cooper explains that his parents sheltered him from the Playboy lifestyle.

They sent him out of the room when the party started.

Exactly what my parents did.

Whenever they got naked with a few dozen friends…

I was sent upstairs to my room.

So Cooper’s childhood differs from mine only in housing.

He lived in the Playboy Mansion.

First off…

There is a swimming pool inside a cave.

It’s called “The Grotto”.

Cooper explains that while the world sees the Grotto as a mecca for orgies,

as a boy, he saw it as an Indiana Jones adventure.

Exactly!

Every boy who looks at a Playboy magazine says the same thing.

“Wow!  Look at that swimming pool!”

“It’s like Indiana Jones!”

Secondly,

The mansion has a game room.

It was chock full of pinball machines.

There was even a Playboy machine!

Here’s a picture.

How cool would it be to see your Dad pictured on a pinball machine!

Cooper doesn’t mention it but I assume one of those girls is his mother.

The other is probably His aunt or something.

And that’s his grandmother in the pool to the left…

That pinball machine was a constant reminder that above everything else,

Hugh Hefner values family.

And Thirdly,

The mansion has a zoo!

With animals!

In cages…

Because the animals are expensive

…and throngs of intoxicated people might hurt them.

So, I need to confess.

Before I saw this video,

I thought the Playboy Mansion might not be an ideal environment for children.

I’ve changed my mind.

This single video caused me to put aside the hedonism, sexual anarchy, decadence, erotica and pornography…

and see the parallels between Cooper Hefner and myself.

We had almost identical childhoods.

I swam in pools, played pinball and went to the zoo.

So did he.

Cool.

I’m expecting a call from the producer of this video.

No doubt he’s going to want to chronicle my boyhood years too!