Grateful or Gimme
Maybe you’ve noticed that some people are happy the sun came up today while others are busily looking for “a brighter tomorrow.” This is the difference between Conservative and Progressive mindsets. Conservatives are like your grandma who keeps her ancient couch because “it’s still perfectly good.” They’re big on gratitude, contentment, and taking stock of […]
Message from A Neutral Pastor
Good morning everyone. Welcome to “Typical Evangelical Church,” we’re both glad and somewhat surprised that you visited us today! As a pastor, I am saddened to see our country so divided over politics. I wish we would all just get along and agree about everything! That would be great! We all agree that agreement is […]
Education IS Indoctrination
I have advice for you intrepid workers of wickedness: “Never ask a question that you don’t want answered.” But since arrogance, pride, and sin make it impossible for godless folks to accept wise counsel, you’ll keep right on presenting me with opportunities to demonstrate the superiority of a Christian worldview. The only time an atheist […]
Who Told You Church Is No Place for Politics?
“John, you jerk! Politics don’t belong in church!!! Haven’t you ever heard of the separation of church and state??!!! We’re supposed to preach the Gospel, NOT TALK ABOUT POLITICS!!!!! YOU DIVISIVE, HATEFUL JERK!!” Where did you get the idea that politics don’t belong in church? You didn’t get it from Scripture. It comes from self […]
The Goal Is Not Unity
One of the things keeping the church from having a positive affect on culture is Christians running around trying to unite everybody. Because they’re always living (at least) 20 years in the past, these saints believe there are millions of ‘lost sheep’ who were mistreated by the church and desperately seek to be included. If […]
What To Do With Kyle
It doesn’t matter if you’ve ever heard of a band called “Tenacious ‘D’.” They have LOTS of fans already and that’s why it made headlines when one of their founding members, Kyle Gass, wished out loud that the next attempt to end Trump’s life would be successful. If the band wasn’t famous, nobody would have […]
Buy A Ticket, Save a Porn Star
Apparently, ticket sales are sluggish for the Tarts & Vicars show. Father Nathan Monk commented, “Of all the possible reasons for why these shows aren’t doing well, the one thing I don’t believe is that people don’t care. I’m believing that it’s that folks don’t know.” That’s probably it. Despite constant posting to over 2 […]
Serpents Speak No Truth
There’s a word that describes the chatter about who is to blame for the violence taking place in our civilization: “Insane” The chatter coming from (D)’s and (R)’s (and any groups represented by other letters) blames influential leaders for ‘calling for violence.’ You are supposed to believe that phrases like ‘take aim at the problem’ […]
Utopia of No Religion
Secularists talk endlessly about how much better off mankind would be if we would ditch religion. Psychologists write articles to say stuff like: “On nearly every sociological measure of well-being, you’re most likely to find the more secular states with the lowest levels of faith in God and the lowest rates of church attendance faring […]
Godless Thoughts and Prayers
Have you noticed that non-religious people become religious zealots whenever somebody dies? All the mockery of ‘thoughts and prayers’ goes right out the window. They’re suddenly filled with superstitions about the ‘afterlife’ and ‘resting in peace.’ They’ll openly share best wishes for a joyful existence beyond this material world. It’s…diabolical. Jesus explained that there is […]
