What color are your eyes?

Mine are blue. Only 10% of the world’s population is privileged with blue eyes. (For you brown-eyed people, that’s just 1 person in 10.) I feel terrible about this. The pigmentation in my cornea affords me many benefits. My conscience forces me to acknowledge my awesomeness.

First, I need to apologize. It has taken me too long to see my eyes. I deluded myself into believing that my circumstances were impacted by my choices and behavior. I was so blind. I took a moment to focus inward and sincerely ask tough questions.

“Why have I never experienced disappointments or hardships?”
“What is this ‘sadness’ my brown-eyed friends talk about?”
“Why is my every wish immediately granted?”

The answer was obvious when I noticed that every other person with blue-eyes is great, like me. Every single one of us “Blue-Eyed Beauties” has the same privilege. Without exception, blue-eyes mean success.

So I’m calling out to my blue-eyed brethren, “Own your privilege!” Notice the plight of the hapless masses who do not share your oculus hue! Life with any other pigmented eyeballs is hell. It is past time we acknowledge our undeserved rights.

• Blue eyed people can get jobs.
• Blue eyed people can own property.
• Blue eyed people can vote.
• Blue eyed people can own a business.
• Blue eyed people can use public transportation.
• Blue eyed people can go to school.
• Blue eyed people have freedom of speech.
• Blue eyed people are free to worship as they choose.
• Blue eyed people can make purchases.
• Blue eyed people can legally drive automobiles.
• Blue eyed people can practice medicine.
• Blue eyed people can practice law.
• Blue eyed people can become President of the United States.

How much more proof do you need?

Blue-eyed people need to change. Right off the bat, we’ve got to climb out of our ivory towers and wallow in self-loathing. No excuses! Don’t try to credit your amazing life to other variables like ethics, perseverance, gratitude, relationships, or principles. That is a cop-out. And it’s disgusting.

Then, just listen to the people with other colored eyes. Hear their stories. They have suffered under our dominance. All of them. Every single non-blue person has experienced blue-eyed oppression. For once in your life, shut-up and let your victims speak!

Finally, be willing to do whatever it takes to make everyone equal with you in every way. As long as humans are experiencing different lives, we’ve got work to do! We have all the power. They cannot help themselves. It’s time we use our superiority to aid the inferior members of our species.