Churches that advertise themselves as a place “to belong” are functioning like Sam’s Club or Amazon Prime, except they won’t give you the membership brochure. They’ll smile, pour you a cup of coffee, and assure you that everyone is welcome. Everyone belongs. No restrictions. No expectations. Just free Wi-Fi and unlimited inclusiveness.

They’re saying church is for everyone the same way parades and fireworks are for everyone. You’re welcome to stand in the crowd and watch. You don’t need a ticket and nobody will check your ID. But the church isn’t just a parade. It’s a body, with connected parts, which means there are obligations. Telling you about those obligations up front would cut into the headcount.

Churches like big numbers. Numbers look great in reports, newsletters, and Instagram reels. “Our church is thriving!” translates to “we had a thousand people in the building last Sunday.” Now, 987 of them are spectators who aren’t remotely interested in Jesus and would be super upset to hear that belonging requires taking up a cross! Massive crowds don’t require much. Individuals require a lot! Individuals need time, attention, and compassion—resources that require personal sacrifice. It’s easier and more cost effective to just schedule a Trunk-Or-Treat.

So instead of saying, “Here are the expectations for belonging,” churches market the illusion of universal membership. The big ‘Welcome’ sign out front fails to mention that you’ll be escorted out if you try to go backstage. They don’t want you to see the fine print because the fine print is a fairly lengthy list of contingencies. Belonging involves accountability. Belonging means you can’t just treat the sanctuary like your personal living room. Belonging means giving, not just receiving. Belonging means being corrected sometimes. And correction is really, really, really, bad for attendance numbers.

It’s a bait-and-switch. You can belong—as long as you behave. You can belong—as long as you agree. You can belong—as long as you don’t make leadership uncomfortable. They’ll never say it out loud. You won’t see a banner that says, “You Belong Here…If You Hate Your Family and Yourself.”

There are always conditions for membership. Sam’s Club has a fee. Jesus told us to count the cost of discipleship. The problem is NOT that belonging has conditions. The problem is pretending that membership is unconditional.

(Luke 14:26) “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.