Non-religious wedding officiant services are what happen when self described ‘non-religious’ humans charge money to perform a ritual for humans who mock traditional wedding rituals.

A ‘non-religious ceremony’ is like a meat-free hamburger. It looks very similar to what it claims to be but lacks the crucial ingredient. I’d wager the ‘non-religious’ vows to be just a half-step above incoherent.

“I promise to affirm your identity until it conflicts with my own identity.”

“I pledge my consistent support unless my self-care requires strategic withdrawal.”

“This ring symbolizes that we have evolved past the need for symbols to express ourselves.”

Declaring that your relationship to a specific human is ‘different’ compared to your relationship with everyone else; isn’t science. The laws of physics don’t contain ‘for better or worse until by death we are parted.’ Vows don’t come from atoms bumping into each other. They come from the God who invented covenant in the first place.

“John, you jerk! You think people need God to make marriage meaningful??!!!! You’re wrong!! People can get married without religion!!!”

Right. You don’t think people need meat to make ‘hamburger’ either. In the real world, outside your cocoon of denial, there’s no hamburger without beef and there’s no marriage without religion. Denying that God exists doesn’t make you ‘non-religious.’ It just makes your religion godless.

So it makes sense to pay someone to create an illusion of significance. A slick-talking huckster can help you pretend your ‘marriage’ has dramatically changed your relationship. He might help you believe your promises matter when they’re disconnected from anything larger than yourself. I hope the service is expensive. That level of wishful thinking ought to come with a steep price tag.

(Jeremiah 2:13) “They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”