It’s understandable that you want to avoid getting hurt. There are some ‘toxic people’ moving around in the world who will abuse you whenever they get the chance. Only a lunatic would advise you to keep hanging around people who knock you down. I am not a lunatic.
That being said, sometimes you need to be knocked down.
You know how children will dash into the street without looking? You do that too. You’ll make bad decisions when you’re emotionally charged and leave your friends with no other option but to tackle you. It is a mistake to label your tackler as ‘toxic’ and remove them from your circle of friends.
You will save yourself a lot of unnecessary suffering when you understand that conventional wisdom is not biblical wisdom. Conventional wisdom comes from the culture, not necessarily from God. Conventional wisdom is telling you not to let anyone back into your life after they’ve wounded you. This advice is described as ‘self care’ or ‘protecting your heart’ or ‘learning from experience’ but it’s really just unforgiveness.
Conventional wisdom encourages you to remember the sins committed against you. According to worldly sages, it’s good to keep a record of wrongs. Following this advice will make you a bitter, lonely person because every person you care about (absolutely every one of them) will wrong you. Every person you love will knock you down at some point.
“John, you jerk! You’re saying I should be a doormat!”
Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying! What have you got against doormats? The carpeting would be a mess if there wasn’t a doormat taking all the filth onto itself. I’m saying that the rug should say, ‘Thanks!’ to the doormat for allowing it to be beautiful. Successful relationships require people to take turns being doormats. Remember, you’re not always a beautiful hunk of pristine carpet. You’ve knocked a few people down yourself.
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
(Mark 6:14)
