Climbing to the top of Mt. Everest used to be considered by many to be the hardest thing in the world to do. But that was long ago before the internet existed. Climbing to the highest point on Earth is a cake walk compared to convincing someone online of the most simple, obvious truth. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about:

It has been said that the phrase, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” contains every letter in the alphabet. The reason it’s been said is because that phrase does indeed contain every letter in the alphabet. In other words, it’s “true.”

Now, I’m going to ask a question that may seem condescending. It will likely insult the intelligence of most of my readers. I apologize in advance for forcing you to endure this pre-school level inquiry but it’s necessary to make my point. Here goes:

If you doubt that every letter of the alphabet is contained in the phrase, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” how can you test to see if you’re correct?

If you can think of any way to test the claim then get down on your knees and thank God for giving you the gift of discernment. I’m not kidding. God saw fit to endow you with powers He hasn’t given everyone.

Behold:

I suspect that most of the people pointing out missing letters are under the age of fifty. Many old timers (notice, I didn’t say ‘ALL’) approach new ideas with caution. Old timers can recall being mistaken in the past and are constantly aware of the possibility they could be wrong again. This is called, ‘humility.’ Humble people sincerely believe they don’t know everything. Humble people aren’t surprised when they learn something new.

Many young people (notice, I didn’t say ‘ALL’) have never experienced the blessing of being mistaken. They were taught that everyone has a personalized version of truth but ‘their truth’ is very special, and beautiful, and always correct. These are the people that many (not ‘ALL’) old timers would call, ‘Dimwits.’

Dimwits inhabit every nook and cranny of civilization. Fortunately, they aren’t able to camouflage themselves with humility which makes them easy to spot. You won’t be surprised by a dimwit when you stay alert for their unmistakable markings.

Dimwits always express themselves.

Dimwits believe that the most important thing they can do is express themselves. It never occurs to a dimwit that I’m not even a little bit interested in what they’re wearing or how much they like Starbucks. Dimwits sincerely think they are the center of the universe.

Dimwits always post their political or religious opinions with the caveat, “I don’t want to debate anyone.” All that matters to a dimwit is that you listen to them. They don’t care what you think.

Dimwits always argue.

Dimwits argue everything. It is their reflexive response to any claims other than their own. They expect every new idea they encounter to be wrong. Even though they claim that all truth is relative, they don’t really believe it. If they did, they wouldn’t immediately try to disprove claims about quick brown foxes and lazy dogs.

The urge to argue is irresistible in dimwits. They can’t help themselves. When they hear that a certain phrase contains every letter in the alphabet, they shout, “What about a ‘V’?” When it’s pointed out to dimwits that the word, “over” contains a ‘V’, they will then shout, “What about an ‘O’?”

At no point will a die-hard dimwit ever acknowledge a mistake. This brings me to the last sure fire indicator of dimwittery.

Dimwits never apologize.

When the truth is patently obvious to everyone in the room including fish, houseplants, and glasses of tap water but there remains one person who refuses to admit it; that person is a dimwit. Apologizing for mistakes requires large amounts of humility which dimwits simpy don’t possess.

If a dimwit ever realizes that every letter in the alphabet is contained in the “Quick Brown Fox Phrase,” the dimwit will be offended. When the universe refuses to conform to a dimwit’s understanding of reality, the dimwit gets upset. At no point will the dimwit laugh and say, “Whoops! I was wrong. Guess I learned something today!”

So, how do you tell dimwits the truth?

You can’t.

The important thing to remember is that it’s not your fault. Don’t take it personally when you end conversations with dimwits and they are exactly as stupid as when the conversation began.

And, for the love of all things Holy, don’t abandon the truth to make dimwits feel better! When you can’t make dimwits brighter, the solution is not to make yourself dimmer.