Have you got a sense of humor?
‘Yes! Of course I do!’
Are you sure?
You seem kind of uptight.
Don’t be offended!
I’m not saying you don’t have a sense of humor!
I’m saying your sense of humor could be dulled.
Like your sense of smell with a stuffy nose.
Like your sense of taste after a shot of Novocaine.
Here’s a handy formula for calculating your sense of humor:
L – (2 x O) = H
‘L’ is the amount of time spent laughing.
‘O’ is the amount of time spent being offended.
‘H’ represents your total ‘Sense of Humor’
For example:
50 (Two episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond) – (30 (CNN Programming) x 2) = -10
Watching two episodes of a great sitcom leads you to believe you’re okay.
Be not fooled.
Half an hour of broadcast news swings your sense of humor into negative numbers.
It takes 2 minutes of laughter to offset 1 minute of outrage.
That’s the ‘Offended Affect’.
There are a couple of ways to boost your sense of humor.
First, you can laugh more.
Maybe watch some comedy.
Secondly, you can spend less time being offended.
This can be accomplished via a 2-step process.
- Make a list of things that offend you.
- Stop thinking about things on the list.
Here’s a sample list from an anonymous person:
To boost overall sense of humor,
I would…I mean…THIS PERSON would need
to stop brooding about the things listed.
The result would be a dramatic and immediate reduction
in the number of offended minutes per day–
increasing my the person’s sense of humor
without the need to increase laughter one iota!
A third option involves sarcasm.
This is when you think about things that offend you
so you can make fun of them.
Mocking things that offend you increases your sense of humor geometrically.
It creates laughter while simultaneously reducing offended-ness.
So what’s your sense of humor total?
12 Responses
Actually our research in the lab finds that 2 episodes of Raymond is less than 50, down to barely 40 due to the episodes being only 22 min long on average of which 2 minutes of that are credits, which leaves us with
40 (Two episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond) – (30 (CNN Programming) x 2) = -20 !!!!
this does not even take into account of the commercial effect; they can be even worse than CNN!!!
Please keep us updated as you continue your research! This is important information!
Also beware the Offended *Effect.
Say, here’s a stress reduction idea: We should all just spell it ‘ffect, or maybe _ffect. That way you don’t have to figure out when to use effect or affect. Thus the “misspelling effect” won’t affect people as much.
(Note, I am not offended by this common spelling/usage error. I’m merely mildly annoyed. So I don’t have to multiply it by 2. Half of a sitcom should compensate adequately.)
This piece is even more appropriate in 2020 then 2014!
I have some coping techniques:
1. Prayer: because without spending time with the One Who created the gift of Humor (and all other good gifts) – that’s just a preview of and step toward the despair of hell.
2. Laughter: Hence my treasured membership in your Comedy Clique, watching as many of your videos and reading your insightful observations and brain farts, as much as possible.
3. Turning off all things electronic (when my laughter tank has been filled with 2) and spending time with loved ones (2 and 4- footed), going outside to wonder at God’s creation…
4. Turning electronic thingies back on to listen to really, really good and honorable Truth-tellers (most of whom have been censored and de-platformed from corrupted online sites and institutions). 1 minute of Truth erases CNN, DS darkness.
Too bad Pilate only rhetorically asked “What is Truth?” when Truth was standing right in front of him. Jesus Christ exposes all lies, and brings peace, freedom from fear, laughter and restoration. He is the antidote to all things CNN. Thank you for gathering a little laugh-loving, Christian tribe here, and expanding to free-speech platforms. It’s good to be connected with His family!
Btw, your Thanksgiving Prayer made me laugh so hard I wet my pants and couldn’t breathe.
So true! That is what makes it so funny.
I also wanted to say how much I appreciate your not only poking fun at most people’s foibles (including moi), but you make me laugh, and deeply appreciate, your ability to look as honestly as you can, inwardly at yourself, and use your own glitches to delight, teach, reprove. It’s part of a Divine gift to you, for you and for those who will listen. Thank you for using this talent, even with its difficulties (i.e. backlash from atheists, cultural christians,…) instead of stuffing it under a mattress.
(Apologies for the long sentence, I have to run do chores, and don’t have the time to be brief 😁)
You remind me of David, when reproved, and his chastened, humbled and deepened sense of sin, flaws, and his ever closer walk with God. You’re mindful of being a tiny, imperfect yet beloved human, and you teach from Wisdom gained from your prat falls and great gift of mirrored funhouse angles of looking at things.
I stopped subbing for a particular teacher because he would subject his subs and students to Michael Moore stuff and I’d be stuck watching it 5 hours a day. It drained me for weeks afterward. I couldn’t get enough comedy quick enough to counteract the downer. Thankfully that teacher is no longer in the district and I no longer have to worry about it. (Many parents also rejoiced upon hearing he left. It was a weird day at the school. Half the students loved him. Half the students loathed him. And there weren’t any in between. So you had some students crying over his sudden departure and some students dancing with joy. It was a weird day.)
Dear Susanne,
I don’t know how you managed 5 hours of Michael Moore and his acolyte at a stretch – repeatedly!?! No wonder you were wiped out! I can’t stand that increasingly shapeless blob from hell, and avert eyes and plug ears as soon as I see him listed in any twisted recommended film playlist. Uggh! You, and the children, were soul-tortured.
How wonderful that teacher suddenly left! I hope he never has access to children and other good people’s minds again. You all were divinely rescued.
I’m worried about the indoctrinated students that cried when that teacher left. I hope they won’t be future Molotov Cocktails heavers…
I pray God greatly blesses you, Susanne!
Your children are blessed everyday they have you.
Good morning. I need you to explain the difference between talk radio and podcasts. Not sure about my position on that one. Anonymous might like to know also. And I’ve never seen a Michael Moore flick so thanks for the warning. I don’t remember seeing a disclaimer that this was a repeat column and you would think in 6 years you could have taken time to correct your spelling errors. Come to think of it that might be on my list. I appreciate spelling errors in Nigerian scam emails, they make me laugh. Don’t worry about the quantum theory, just look up the spelling of analysis. Sarcasm has a limited audience, most often just myself. 🙄
I appreciate sarcasm. Feel free to use it whenever you want.
I’m so excited about the ‘sarcasm’ factor! I consider it one of my spiritual gifts.
“Mocking things that offend you increases your sense of humor geometrically.”
I wonder how a person’s sense of humor can be increased ‘geometrically.’ Does he circle of humor transform into a square, or perhaps a trapezoid? Is a sense of humor a 2-dimensional or 3-dimensional figure? Could it increase to “pentagonal prism,” “octagonal pyramid,” or “dodecahedron” size? The possibilities are endless!!
I admit I haven’t tested the formula in more than 3-dimensions. That alalysis of comedy will require somebody with a better understanding of quantum theory.