I saw this sign in a neighbor’s yard yesterday. It looks professionally designed. I was suspicious that it was purchased rather than crafted by the homeowners. It turns out, I was right! (I love it when that happens.)
Store bought yard signs are similar to store bought greeting cards. You borrow someone else’s words to express your thoughts. That’s not a problem unless you don’t have any thoughts of your own in the first place. If you don’t have any thoughts, the yard sign is essentially brainwashing.
It is inappropriate to ridicule the sincere beliefs of another person. So I need to post my own sincere belief before I am accused of impropriety or hypocrisy.
“I sincerely believe it is appropriate to ridicule the sincere beliefs of anyone.”
And away we go!
I Believe Yard Signs Declaring My Beliefs Are Obnoxious
If I ever tried to post this sign in my yard, as I was hammering the metal legs into the earth, the voice in my head would say, “Nobody gives a crap about what you believe.” I know this is true. I have seen countless signs in countless yards and I haven’t cared even a little bit about any of them. I don’t care who you’re voting for. I don’t care who installed your windows. I don’t care that “a hero lives here.” And I don’t care what your store bought sign claims you “believe.”
But since you seem to think your opinions are worthy of my attention, I will muster enough interest to render a thoughtful response to each of your alleged beliefs. I know you weren’t expecting this. You intended for me to read your sign and agree. You weren’t anticipating a response.
You thought the sign alone would earn you respect. I would simply smile and think, “A good person lives there.” So, let this be a lesson to you! When you make public statements, you should be prepared for a response.
Indeed. Do you frequently forget that black lives matter? Is this sign a reminder to yourself not to be a racist? If so, then I applaud your efforts to fight your personal bigotry. A black person once told me that everyone is a little black so you’re statement is pro-people and that’s a good thing.
At face value, this is needless redundancy. Of course love is love. And pudding is pudding. Fish gravel is fish gravel. Toilet paper is toilet paper. We should love all people equally. People are people, right? But your sign is misleading. You don’t intend it to be taken at face value.
You aren’t really saying “Love is love.” You’re saying, “Homosexuality Is The Same As Heterosexuality.” You’re saying, “Sex is sex,” and I don’t agree. I doubt that you believe that yourself. If you’re honest (and I have doubts that you are) you would admit that sex with your spouse is not the same as sex with an inflatable yak. So the statement, “Love is love,” is either such an obvious truth that it doesn’t need to be stated, or it is a lie.
True. Feminism is for everyone. So is Marxism. So is white nationalism. So is every tyrannical philosophy that seeks to dominate our culture. Oppression doesn’t work unless it’s applied to everyone. Frankly, I’m surprised you’re admitting the truth. History reveals that the most successful oppressors didn’t declare their intentions so boldly. Your sign is a tip-off that I should never vote for you in any election.
If I stepped into your yard and set your sign on fire, would you stand by this statement? You don’t actually believe no human is illegal. You’re saying, “I don’t care about illegal humans until they affect me personally.” When you hammered this sign into your yard, you thought this statement proved that you’re a big-hearted, compassionate person who deeply cares about immigrants. Surprise! You are a selfish jerk!
To be honest, I don’t understand why you felt this needed to be said. I don’t know anyone who denies the reality of science. History is real too. Why didn’t you mention that? Economics is real. Philosophy is real. Chess is real. You left so much reality unmentioned! Reality is for everyone.
My best guess is that you have some political position that you want to force me to accept. Rather than debate the merit of your politics, you’ve declared my position to be unscientific. My disagreement with you will make me a “science denier.” So you bought a sign and hammered it into your yard to tell me you’re smarter than me. Right? Did I figure it out? Maybe I’m not as stupid as you thought.
I completely agree. Kindness is always the right move. I’ve been trying to follow this command for many years. Here are a few of the things I do in my efforts to be kind to all:
- I don’t hammer vacuous signage into my yard to passive-aggressively tell people they suck.
- I don’t declare that people matter because of their skin color.
- I don’t deceive people by insisting that “love” and “sex” are the same thing.
- I don’t force people to adopt my point of view without explaining it to them.
- I don’t appeal to my personal, unspecified “goodness” as the sole reason to accept my opinions.
- I don’t have one set of rules for myself and another set of rules for you.
- I respond respectfully to other people’s statements even when those statements are fantastically oblique and insipid.
- I don’t rejoice in the suffering of other people.
Yard Signs Are for Lazy Philosophers
I’m grateful that, for the time being, you have the right to hammer a sign into your yard with any stupid message you care to dream up (or pay someone else to dream up.) It is your privilege as an American citizen to publicize your opinions. It is my privilege as an American citizen to publicize my opinions of your opinions.
If you give a chimpanzee a credit card, an internet connection, and enough time, he will eventually order the same yard sign you did. But the chimp won’t actually hammer that sign into his yard. You can learn a lot from our primate friends.
Want to share this awesome article on social media but you’re sad because your friends aren’t members? I got ya covered. Here’s a link to the article that anyone can see, including the plebeians who aren’t members of our clique. Post it wherever you want. Send it in emails. Engrave it on silver tea trays. Membership has its privileges!
One Response
I agree that yard signs are useless with one exception. Every once in a while I see one with a message stated with enough humor to make me laugh. Whether or not I agree with the opinion expressed, I find those signs worthy.