pile of sliced wheat breads

You’re asking me if it’s okay to steal bread to feed your starving family. The answer is, “No.” I hope that helps you plan your day. You can now remove, “shoplift bagels” from your task list.

“John, you jerk!!!! People are starving!!! STARVING!!!! CHILDREN ARE HUNGRY!!!!!! Wealthy jerks have more food than they can eat in 10 lifetimes!!!! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE GENEROUS YOU JERK!!!!”

Jesus wants me to obey God.

(Matthew 7:21) “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

God told me not to take things that belong to other people. It’s one of the original 10 commandments. Ignoring this commandment under the pretense of ‘feeding my starving family’ is NOT an act of pious righteousness. It’s a display of faithlessness and egoism. If I trusted God to provide for me, I wouldn’t steal your bread. God does not require me to defy Him in order to take care of my family.

Some people provide for their families by selling groceries. When I steal their inventory, I am doing harm to those families. I’m the bad guy in the scene, not the victim.

But let’s be honest, you’re not just stealing bread. You’re taking televisions, booze, drugs, sneakers, cell phones, cigarettes, and whatever else you can haul away. Your family doesn’t need a cart full of jewelry and electronics to stay alive. You aren’t providing for needy children. You’re just a thief.

Not for a microsecond do I believe that you’re going to starve if you don’t loot the local grocery store. There are too many generous, rich people in America. There are too many charities and churches with well stocked food pantries. The streets of American cities are not littered with emaciated corpses because there are wealthy people EVERYWHERE who are willing to feed your hungry family.

To summarize: It’s not okay to steal bread to feed your family. It’s not okay to sin and call it righteous. Pretending your thievery serves some noble purpose only fools gullible people.

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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2 Responses

  1. LOL!!! Interesting timing yet again! I do believe that God Himself placed this blog in my life for a reason. Thank you for your willingness to be a vessel. Hugs to L.B.

    bree~

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