The apostles were beaten, imprisoned, and executed for their faith. My idea of persecution is somebody leaving a frowny-face emoji under my post. Paul got flogged. I got called “hateful” by a stranger with a cat profile picture. Stephen was stoned to death, and my worst injury for the gospel is a bruised ego.

Reading about the Christians in Nigeria being slaughtered for confessing Christ makes my stomach twist. I don’t even know what to do with that kind of faith. I grew up in a country where “religious persecution” usually means being unfollowed on Instagram. Meanwhile, believers around the world are literally losing their homes, their families, and their lives. It’s embarrassing how often I complain.

I’ve taken religious freedom so much for granted that I treat it like Wi-Fi: I only notice when it’s not available. The Nigerian church is worshiping without electricity, internet, or security. I have all three and still find things to grumble about. It’s shameful. So this is my public declaration of gratitude:

Thank you, God. For everything.

I think my sin in all of this is that I want God to fix the world to my liking. I want Him to protect the persecuted, punish the wicked, and preserve my comfort all at once. When He doesn’t, I start trying to manipulate Him with more prayer, or more works, or more bible reading. I think increasing my holiness will improve the chances that God will perform as asked. The atrocities of the world overwhelm me not because God has lost control, but because I want to share it. I want veto power over suffering.

God is still good. Always good. My feelings just haven’t caught up yet. Maybe my response to tragedy should be to recognize that God is providing the tools to endure it. He’s given us faith strong enough to survive hatred, hope steady enough to outlast despair, and citizenship in a kingdom that can’t be overthrown by governments or guns.

So I’ll stop whining about mean comments on my blog and start thanking God for the privilege of having a blog at all.

(Acts 21:30) The whole city was aroused, and the people came running from all directions. Seizing Paul, they dragged him from the temple, and immediately the gates were shut. While they were trying to kill him, news reached the commander of the Roman troops that the whole city of Jerusalem was in an uproar. He at once took some officers and soldiers and ran down to the crowd. When the rioters saw the commander and his soldiers, they stopped beating Paul.