I heard a guy say he wouldn’t attend a particular church because it was ‘a clique.’ What he meant was, “Those people won’t let me into their group.” The people outraged by exclusivity are always the ones currently excluded. The people who complain about cliques are usually the ones on the outside.

If I wanted to find a church that wasn’t a clique, I’d look for one where the members don’t like each other. Nobody talks before or after the service. The sanctuary feels like a waiting room at the DMV. Everyone sits alone scrolling on their phones. Nobody shares any personal information or asks me how I’m doing. That’s the opposite of clique behavior. Perfect neutrality. Perfect indifference. When nobody notices me, nobody is judging me.

Dead churches aren’t clique-ish. Any corpse is welcome at the graveyard.

The word “clique” doesn’t mean “group of people who get along.” It means “group of people who get along without me.” The accusation says more about the accuser than the accused. If you don’t feel included, it’s not always because they built a wall. Sometimes it’s because you didn’t knock. When you say nobody at church spoke to you, every other person at the church can say the same thing about you. Standing around waiting for someone to demonstrate friendliness is very unfriendly.

A healthy church is the ultimate exclusive group but not because its members are superior. It’s because Jesus did the including. The membership standards were set by Him. You don’t earn your way in by being friendly, likable, or good at remembering names. You’re accepted because the price of admission was paid on your behalf. The “clique” is a family whose bonds aren’t based on common interests or personalities but on grace. The outside world watches the way believers care for each other and thinks, “That’s a weird group. How do I get into it?”

You’re not supposed to destroy the clique. You’re supposed to invite more people to join it.

(John 13:34) “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”