Jessica Simpson got married.
What’s the groom’s name?
Doesn’t matter.
He’s “the guy who married Jessica Simpson”.
Upgraded from “the guy who’s been living with Jessica Simpson”.
An addendum to “the guy who fathered two of Jessica Simpson’s kids”.
You can look up his name if you want to know it.
But why bother?
The important details are much easier to find.
It was an elaborate wedding.
The foundation of a good marriage.
Jessica’s dress cost more than a nuclear submarine.
Expensive dresses make for better wives.
It took five months to get Jessica’s hair color perfect.
“A paler, more natural blonde..” her colorist said.
Her colorist.
A colorist made her hair “more natural blonde”.
Mere mortals like me can’t think at this level of complexity.
Notice: the colorist got a longer quote than “the guy who married Jessica Simpson”.
Good luck to Jessica and What’s His Name.
Somebody should tell them that after the wedding comes marriage.
It’s much less extravagant and glamorous.
The tabloids aren’t interested in marriage
Until it becomes divorce.
4 Responses
How can you possibly work on someone’s hair for 5 months? The conversation probably went like this:
Hairdresser: “Your hair does look good now,But if you give me 5 more months I couldn’t make it a paler, more natural blonde… But of course, is going to cost you…”
JS: “A paler, more natural blonde? Lets do it; cost is not an obstacle”
Hairdresser: **Cha-Ching**
….and…she wore white.
Indeed she did. I wasn’t going to go over THAT again. Thanks for noticing!
HAHA!!!