WARNING: You’re leaving the Safe zone.
One of the reasons I do not call myself a “comedian” anymore is because comedy is not safe. It does damage to people with no sense of humor. If you do not possess a healthy sense of humor, I invite you to stay on the Safe Side, avoid this side, for as long as you wish.
On the safe side, I hope you never encounter anything offensive, sarcastic, irreverent, vulgar, obnoxious, intriguing, challenging, or relevant. There are few sharp corners. There are few hard surfaces. Very little to vex you over there.
Think of that place as warm pile of sand into which you can bury your head and let life zoom past without consequence. I won’t shame you. I won’t attack you. Because I’m not going to be there.
I’m spending my time with the people outside of that online playpen. I’m bored with stuffed animals and satin blankets. And I absolutely won’t change any diapers. That’s why there’s no way to contact me from over there.
Over here, it’s not safe. You could encounter things that upset your apple cart, chap your hide, blow your stack, knot your knickers, wad your panties, yank your chain, or mildly annoy you.
I just want you to know what you’re signing up for…
