a scary devil holding a red trident

When I said, “Don’t trust Christians who rarely quote the Bible,” I got a lot of responses that needed replies. I’ve saved my favorite for last.

You said: “Remember John, the devil quoted scripture too.”

That’s right. The devil thought he could trick Jesus into sinning by twisting some scripture. Satan quoted Psalm 91 to encourage Jesus to throw himself off a roof. After that, Jesus stopped quoting scripture for the rest of his life.

Jesus responded, “Cursed art thou, Lucifer! You have tarnished the sacred word! We shall not quote scripture forevermore since you have made it useless and vile!” Actually…I may be wrong about that. Yes! I am mistaken. Now that I think about it, Jesus responded to Satan’s temptations by quoting scripture!

Each time the devil made a move, Jesus responded with a verse from the Bible. What point were you trying to make when you told me about Satan quoting scripture?

This is pure speculation on my part so if I’m mistaken, feel free to disregard this whole paragraph. I think you’re annoyed by the suggestion that Christians should quote scripture because you’re a Christian who doesn’t quote scripture. I think you feel guilty about that but it’s easier to fight with me than to fight with the Holy Spirit. Instead of humbly acknowledging that God’s words are always better than your own, you’re giving me a bunch of baloney about Satan. It might be time for you to stop speaking and start listening.

(Matthew 4:4) Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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