Whenever I hear a Christian husband say, “I really married up!” I know he’s trying to compliment his wife. Christian men are taught that building up their wives requires tearing themselves down. The following exchange plays out in my imagination whenever a Christian dude boasts about having a wife who, “Could have done better.”

You: “Boy, I married up! My wife is way out of my league!”

Me: “So…why did she marry you?”

You: “Haha! That’s a great question! Haha!”

Me: “Is she stupid?”

You: “Hey! Watch your mouth! That’s my wife…”

Me: “She chose poorly when picking a husband. There must be a reason. She must be stupid, or maybe lazy.”

You: “I’m gonna punch you in the mouth you jer…”

Me: “Something has to be wrong with a woman who attaches herself to an inferior mate. Aren’t you even a little curious about what it is?”

“No healthy woman wants her children to have a father who’s a loser. So if she’s not stupid or lazy, is she a substance abuser? Did she marry you in a drug-addled stupor? Or maybe you’re holding her against her will?”

You: “John, you jerk! Stop trashing the woman I love!!!!”

Me: “It’s not about whether or not you love her. I’m trying to figure out why she’s hooked up with a disappointment like you. You told me she could have done better than you. Why didn’t she?”

Listen, brothers! Telling people that you are not worthy of your wife, is not a compliment to her. Scripture says that husband and wife are ‘one flesh’ in marriage. You’re both in the same league. Nobody is ‘above’ the other members of a family.

Saying that you ‘married up’ is the same as saying your wife ‘married down.’ I hope that’s not the best way to describe your relationship.

(Mark 10:7) ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”