Do you know this couple?

She: “We’re best friends!”

He: “We never fight!”

She: “He’s thoughtful and patient!”

He: “She’s always smiling. She smells great!”

They: “Marriage is fantastic!”

Perhaps you heard them speak at a marriage conference.

Maybe you bought their book.

There’s always a book.

They wrote it together…

…in between hugs, giggles and long, loving gazes.

The book reveals the key to marital bliss…

…marry someone awesome.

Only a dope marries an ordinary person.

An ordinary spouse is sometimes impatient.

Sometimes grouchy.

Sometimes unwashed.

No way a marriage will succeed with that kind of partner.

But awesome spouses are always…

…awesome!

An awesome spouse provides the one essential element of a successful marriage…

…your personal happiness.

It’s your spouse’s responsibility to fill every moment of your life with euphoria.

Are you euphoric right now?

No?

…then your spouse isn’t awesome.

I can promise you this…

…the marriage book authors are euphoric.

They fill hundreds of pages describing their bliss.

Don’t you wish you were them?

Every time your spouse is nearby…

…the ecstasy makes you lightheaded!

Love gushes from your eyes with such force…

…it’s unsafe to operate motor vehicles.

You’re submerged in cheer…

…even when passing a kidney stone.*

But, alas, your spouse is ordinary.

No wonder you are unfulfilled.

Marriage is ho-hum.

The best you can hope for at this point…

…is to read a marriage enrichment book…

…co-authored by an awesome married couple…

…for a vicarious moment of matrimonial merriment.

Or…

…pray that somebody in your own marriage suddenly turns awesome.

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* Kidney stones are heart-shaped when your spouse is awesome.