Everything you know about William Shakespeare is a lie!
He didn’t exist.
William Shakespeare is a fictional character.
I have evidence that he did not exist.
By that I mean, I have no evidence that he did exist.
Same thing.
A quick perusal of reliable, historical sources (Wikipedia) should convince you that I’m right.
(Unless you’re anti-science in which case, nothing will convince you.)
But if you need MORE evidence of no evidence…here it is.
“…actual documentation of his life is pitifully scarce: little more than several signatures, records of his marriage to Anne Hathaway and the birth of their children, a three-page will and some business papers unrelated to writing”
Case closed.
Shakespeare was invented by men in power to control the gullible masses.
The name ‘Shakespeare’ sent the sheep scurrying to buy theater tickets.
Nobody questioned where the sonnets came from.
They weren’t scientists!
They were simple, superstitious folks who blindly accepted whatever they were told.
Such rubes!
It’s embarrassing to call them ‘ancestors’.
The tragedy of Shakespeare’s hoax (see what I did there?) is that it grew.
It spread, like a virus across Europe first…
…then THE WORLD!
Today, Shakespeare has parades, festivals, and even HOLIDAYS in his name.
The Shakespeare brand rakes in truckloads of money.
The organizers of Renaissance Fairs prey on the mindless disciples of ‘The Bard’.
Swindling the dullards with empty promises.
Intellectual honesty demands that I speak up.
The lie ends here.
There is no William Shakespeare.
I’m sorry.
I know this destroys your high school Lit. class indoctrination.
But it’s important to know the truth.
And while we’re at it…
…Mark Twain wasn’t real either.
9 Responses
Oh…. this is good.
Shakesbere is being held in high honour by my Marxist actor uncle.
I get so depressed watching his works. Our the works of this ghost writer.
It bears mentioning that there probably WAS someone named “William Shakespeare” in history. And there’s just enough information about him to give the hoax credibility.
But–that poor chap who married Anne was NOTHING like the “Shakespeare” who is taught in schools. Nope. That Shakespeare is just a myth.
Evidence!! Where’s your evidence?
Awkward.
THAT Shakespeare, whose followers claim existed and claim was a great writer; he was an egotistical maniac first, but didn’t exist second.
Exactly, Jasmine!
(Also–as far as evidence–the Oxford Classical Dictionary backs me up. Shakespeare does not even have his own entry.)
I thought he didn’t exist first and was an egomaniac second.
Guess we need to go to war, Jasmine. Do you want to start calling names or should I?
Bigot.
Brilliant. Do you think most people really know where you are going with this?
Most of my regular readers will get it.