I can tell what a person worships by what they suggest will fix my problems. Christian people suggest prayer, bible reading, and generally tell me to “trust God will work everything out for good.” After that, a Christian suggests I ask God for ears to hear His voice and wisdom to understand His answer.

Pagans don’t suggest any of those things.

Pagans suggest vaccinations.

Pagans suggest public education.

Pagans suggest raising taxes on “rich people.”

Pagans suggest government.

Pagans worship government.

They enthusiastically, whole-heartedly, unashamedly proclaim that their god will fix ALL their problems. The government will protect them from disease. The government will make life fair. The government will feed them, clothe them, educate them, and guarantee their happiness.

Pagans trust the government will protect them from Christian persecution. Pagans fear that, at any moment, hordes of bible-thumping, right-wing extremists will fill the streets, shouting their twisted messages of “loving your neighbor” and “striving for holiness.” Pagans trust the government will defend them from an outbreak of Christian virtues.

You could encounter pagans within your church. They will sing songs about Jesus. They will quote scripture. They even teach bible studies and preach sermons. This is the disguise they wear to move among the children of God. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Disregard what they tell you they believe. You can know what a person worships by what they suggest will fix your problems.

Pagans worship doctors and prescription drugs. Pagans worship psychiatrists and counselors. Pagans worship divorce. Pagans worship abortion. Pagans worship money. Pagans worship other pagans in positions of power.

Don’t believe me? Tell a pagan your problem listen to what she says as she shakes her head.

“Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;

he answers him from his holy heaven

with the saving power of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”

– Psalm 20:6

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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