The science is settled!

Settled!

“But…”

No! Shut up!

It’s settled!

Don’t tell me about your personal experience.

You were spanked as a child and

you feel like you turned out okay.

You didn’t!

Far from it.

Here’s what the science says:

“Because of the physical domino effect of stress to the child…physical punishment is correlated later in life with increased cancer, diabetes, obesity, suicide, heart disease, smoking, mental illness, relationship problems, substance abuse.”

Spank your kids?

They’re going to have relationship problems.

“But…”

No!

You’re not a scientist.

You’re opinion doesn’t matter.

Besides, you were spanked as a child,

so you’re probably mentally ill.

Never heed the opinions of the insane.

That’s the first rule of good science.

And this is rock solid science!

Will you deny that children who are spanked grow up to be obese sometimes?

Therefore: spanking=obesity

Do you doubt that children who are spanked sometimes have heart disease?

Therefore: spanking=heart disease

Guilt is the only reason you’d deny this kind of watertight research.

And you have every reason to feel guilty.

“But…”

No!

Arguing only demonstrates a lack of understanding.

It makes you look foolish!

Now admit that you’re wrong

…or I’ll turn you over my knee!