Several years ago, I got a letter that probably saved my life.

Thanks to the efforts of some governmental agency,

Buckyballs were banned in the United States.

What are Buckyballs?

They are little, spherical magnets.

They can be stuck together into interesting shapes.

And…

they’re the most lethal, metal objects invented since the Guillotine.

Here is what the government agency discovered:

Buckyballs should not be swallowed.

Wow!

Mind blown.

I bought over 20 sets of Buckyballs.

No exaggeration.

My thinking was,

“These will be handy when food gets scarce.”

Turns out that’s a bad plan.

Every container of Buckyballs comes with a note that says, “Do not consume this product.” But, children can’t read so there were a few incidents of kids swallowing the little magnets. That’s when the government, in order to protect us, banned the sale of Buckyballs.

So I guess I’m going to have to eat Legos.

Even though The Buckyballs company is now out of business, you can still get Buckyballs if you don’t mind risking the lives of children. Just know that I’m going to blame you when the nation is locked-down to flatten the magnetic ingestion death curve.

And I’m puzzled about this.

If the Government can’t allow the distribution of anything we morons might swallow…

Why do they keep making coins?

 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 1:4

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Three Little Pigs

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2 Responses

  1. I saw a pizza box recently that had a warning on it. Open before eating pizza. Still scratching my head over that one. We are becoming a very litigious society and every foolish thing we do is someone else’s fault. 🙄

  2. My 23-year-old son accidentally swallowed a penny once … when he was only 4. Since then, his brain has developed to the point that he realizes how bad an idea it is to pretend to take a sip from an otherwise-empty cup that contained a single penny. By the way, the penny did come out all right … in the end (or out of it, anyway).

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