Sincere question: Why should I care that you’re upset?

“John, you jerk! You heartless, unloving, selfish jerk!!! Don’t you care about the suffering of others!!??”

There! Do you see what you just did? You ignored my sincere question, judged my character, and asked a question of your own. That’s upsetting to me. Do you care?

Probably not and I don’t blame you. I can’t offer any compelling reason that you should consider my feelings about anything. You don’t know me. I’ve never invested any time or treasure into your life. I’m a stranger. My thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are of no consequence to you.

When I tell you about my hurt feelings, I’m just trying to manipulate you. I’m trying to control your behavior by disturbing your conscience. I want you to think that I’ll feel better if you make some changes. I want you to believe that you’re a bad person if you refuse to do whatever I ask. I’m trying to convince you that, ignoring me when I’m upset makes you a horrible person.

I mean, hurt feelings aren’t physical injuries. I can control how much damage you do to my self-esteem. In reality, my bitter tears are my own creation. You didn’t upset me. I’m just trying to blame you for my weakness.

So don’t bother answering my sincere question. I answered it myself.

(Romans 7:21) So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.