The most powerful force on Earth is stupidity.
Morons are the mightiest beings among us.
TSA Precheck.
It speeds up the process of going through airport security.
It’s great.
Or, it was great.
But then…
Morons.
There is a qualification process that enables you to use the TSA Precheck line.
… A ‘Precheck’ if you will.
There’s a special line at the airport for Precheck participants.
And lately…
Everybody else.
I was suspicious of the couple in front of me.
They didn’t look like frequent flyers.
Too many bags.
Carry on.
Frequent flyers don’t have carry on.
Frequent flyers don’t wear belts.
If you have to ask why,
… You don’t belong in the TSA Precheck line.
The couple hands the TSA agent their boarding passes.
Then to their utter shock the agent says
… I need to see your I. D.
“My driver’s license? ” The woman asks.
Sigh.
The need to present her drivers license at airport securty
… Has caught her off guard.
So she drops her carry on to the floor.
She opens her purse and rummages through it.
Rummages!
” It’s in here somewhere, ” she assures the agent.
Meanwhile, her husband is fishing his I. D. From his wallet.
The agent scans his boarding pass.
” Sir, you are not TSA Precheck qualified. ”
I could have told them that without scanning the boarding pass.
The agent continues, ” So take this card with you for additional screening. ”
What!!?
This is the TSA Precheck line!
We don’t do additional screening here!
We sashay through security wearing our shoes.
We leave our computers in the bag.
When we pass through the metal detector with our belts on
… TSA agents give us high-fives.
We know to keep our driver’s license in our hand.
So the guy goes forward and lays all his gear on the belt for the X-ray.
The agent tells him to take everything out of his pockets.
There are signs everywhere that say “Take everything out of your pockets.”
There is a video playing nearby that says, among other things, “Take everything out of your pockets.”
The metal detector goes off.
The agent asks, “Do you have anything in your pockets sir?”
He replies, “My phone.”
His phone.
In his pocket.
In the TSA Precheck line.
How did this come to be?
Here’s my hypothesis.
Morons ignore the giant blue sign and get in the TSA Precheck line on a regular basis.
They are informed of their error by the TSA agent and told they need to go to the regular security line.
They pitch a fit.
Say things like, “I’m not going over to that line! It’s long!”
To keep peace, the airport institutes a policy.
The Morons are now screened in the TSA Precheck line.
And civilization moves a step backward.
Rewarding our Morons for being oblivious.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see the sign! ”
That’s okay. You go right ahead.
Leave your phone in your pocket.
Dig for your driver’s license.
I’ll wait.
And I’ll see you guys again.
You’ll be in the 15 items or less line at the grocery store
. .. With 35 items in your cart.
You’ll be parked in the fire lane, in front of the door with the engine running, watching everyone walk around you to get in.
You’ll leave your trash on the table at McDonald’s.
You’ll wash your car with the radio playing loud enough to be heard on Mars.
Oblivious.
The solar system doesn’t revolve around the sun.
It revolves around you.
Relax.
Have a sandwich.
Here’s a meal voucher.
I got it from the airline when I missed my flight.
… There was a delay getting through security.
0 Responses
TSA Agents (and the government as a whole) need to learn this line for these types people….
“You’re failure to follow directions does not give you the right to inconvenience those that are doing it correctly.”
That’s what I tell my 6th graders in class.