The most terrifying thing ever spoken in human history is:
“President Donald Trump.”
The sky is falling in giant, comb-over shaped pieces.
While a certain amount of hysterical fear is justified…
…(that amount is zero)…
…it’s time for Christians to start behaving like you understand something about Christianity.
I realize it’s easy to lose faith when you’re reading stuff like this:
“Friends, what I’m saying is that right now, everything in you that is so bruised and so tender and so broken, is also the most powerful weapon on the planet. This is the catalytic fuel of revolution. These tears and sighs are the glowing embers from which Phoenix rise in glory reborn.”
Let me lovingly suggest that this is horse manure.
Always be suspicious when Christian pastors make points using Egyptian mythology.
Let’s pretend that Christianity isn’t actually politics.
Just pretend!
Let’s pretend it’s possible to live hopeful, happy lives even if Barack Obama is President…
…I mean, Donald Trump…
…Donald Trump is President.
Let’s pretend that Jesus didn’t talk about ‘fueling revolution’.
Pretend Jesus fixed mankind’s ‘brokenness’ in a selfless act of love and mercy.
Pretend that death isn’t where everything ends.
Now…
…stop pretending.
Because this is Christian reality.
Sniveling, weeping, wailing and protesting is for pagans.
They have no hope.
If you’re still curled up in your ‘safe space’ and ‘processing your pain’…
…shame on you.
Get up.
Dry your tears.
Quit reading what the popular heretics write.
Paul wrote a helpful blog to the Corinthians:
“And what I do I will also continue to do, in order to deny an opportunity to those who want an opportunity to be recognized as our equals in what they boast about. For such boasters are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder! Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is not strange if his ministers also disguise themselves as ministers of righteousness. Their end will match their deeds.” – 2 Corinthians 11:12
Start doing some boasting.
Gloat!
Yes. Gloat!
Strut around with the smug confidence that winning makes possible.
Because Christians are winners…BIG TIME!
“Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” – Romans 5
30 Responses
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“Because so long as you write it on a black background and cite the author, you can trust it as a legitimate quote.”
— Cleopatra
I think that was Alexander the Great.
You’re free to verify for yourself that every word was spoken by Donald J. Trump
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Nobody is disputing you.
Nobody cares.
Howl on, mighty wind!
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Very good!
You don’t need to get over it, my Brazilian windbag. You keep on whining and crying as long you like.
Whose whining?
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Have you noticed that you can’t help commenting on the posts written specifically to Christians?
Are you coming out of the closet?
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Ah… Recently updated your photobucket and wanting to get some use out of it.
Okay.
Carry on.
🙂
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I’ll help you make your quotes germane to the topic, if you’d like.
“See, everyone? THIS is why you can’t get over Trump’s election. It’s devastating. He brags about his money and his member. (*cries a bit*)”
Got any more?
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Oi! Zande! Get over yourself, for the gods sake.
This post is about True Christians taking the piss out of other True Christians.
They don’t need any help from bloody pagans like you, for Chrestus’ sake.
There is enough material for them to take the piss out of each other ’til the Rapture.
So get back in you you pseudo Not A True Christian closet and be quiet.
Sorry Branyan. I apologise on behalf of my fellow pagan.
He has no sense of comedic timing and should have left you to it. I consider your retort to your fellow believer quite hilarious.
Please, feel free to carry on …
Oi Chimp Descendant (or Oi Bonobo Descendant)!
Hey, Senor Dipshit, I was sticking up for you True Christians. Why the hostility?
Read it again … it’s the “jolly” chimp song … NOT the hostile chimp song. You’re a jolly good chimp.
JZ keeps pretending his outrage at Trump is justified. Evolution baby!
Grab whoever by whatever. No scientific evidence that you shouldn’t.
I feel bad that he’s posting all by himself…
As a Christian, I have some pretty valuable insider information on stupid things Christians say. He doesn’t have to keep quoting Trump (who isn’t even a Christian).
Maybe Beta Mike will help him out.
I’ve suggested that JZ find some religious perspective. He seems to prefer irrelevance.
I think he should join the Church of John Pavlovitz. They both love telling Christians how to behave!
(And neither of them believes God is in control. So…perfect match.)
Link: https://www.facebook.com/john.pavlovitz/posts/10157793763620113?pnref=story
Great idea!
He won’t do it.
Stop monkeying around,Senor Dipshit.
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So he’s a cat lover. So what?
Plus…bonus for comedians…new Presidents mean new material. Excellent blog John!