I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys. I was 12 years old before my sister was born and she was the first female anywhere in the vicinity. As you might imagine, all those boys together created a very toxic, masculine environment.

There were simply too many boys for an individual bully to handle so we all shared the responsibility of bullying weak kids. We laughed at the kid who got the wind knocked out of him. We called the kid who fell off his bike a ‘baby’ when he shed tears. When we chose teams for kickball, we picked the same kid last because he sucked (that kid was me, by the way). We mercilessly mocked any kid with a bad haircut, high-water pants, bad handwriting, good handwriting (because that’s for girls), freckles, warts, asthma, glasses, crooked teeth, bad breath, body odor, and everything else that made someone different in any way from the rest of us.

This environment of relentless disapproval and criticism taught me a couple of important lessons.

First – I learned that bullies are pathetic, frightened little souls. This knowledge came to me while I was taking my turn bullying a kid for no reason. The crowd was verbally harassing him so I fired off a few insults of my own. It occurred to me, as the crowd laughed and congratulated me for my ‘zinger,’ that I was truly an ugly, despicable person. I was ridiculing another human in order to build myself up in the eyes of the other kids. And what kind of person thinks more highly of someone who is intentionally cruel? Do I REALLY want those hateful kids to be my friends?!!

Second – I learned that sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me. If my hapless victim had grown up in a neighborhood full of bullies, he would have known that bursting into tears was the wrong thing to do. Bullies drink the tears of the weak. Bullies cannot tolerate being bullied themselves.

Parents must teach their children this second lesson because some bullies never learn the first lesson. If your child is not blessed to grow up in a neighborhood full of bullies, then you must bully your child yourself. You’ll probably be less efficient than a gang of rowdy boys but that’s okay. Do the best you can.

You must prepare your child to be ridiculed. You must teach them that empty words can never hurt them. If you do not, then you are sending your child onto a battlefield without any weapons or armor. The other combatants will NOT call a cease fire simply because your kid is unprepared for war. Your beloved child will needlessly suffer a lifetime of sorrows and it won’t be a bully’s fault. It will be yours.

“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.” (Ephesians 5:6)