The 800 year old communist is rising as a real contender for the democratic candidate for president! On the one hand, it is inspiring to watch Sanders display the energy to jet around the country campaigning even though his body is composed mostly of dust and bitterness. His heart stopped beating a decade ago but you can’t tell by his activity level. His policies are the only indicator of his heartless condition. I hope to be half as vibrant when I’m his age.

Peter Heck wrote about Bernie and I don’t need to add anything to what he said. So I’ll add that Bernie Sanders is what you would have if Santa Claus was a communist. Sanders is the anti-Santa.

According to the legend, Santa actually produces the things he gives away. His workshop of elves scramble all year long to manufacture presents. Bernie, condemns the workshop as “excessive”, confiscates the manufactured presents, funnels the presents through his campaign into corporations owned by his family, and tells children on Christmas day that they don’t get presents because Santa is greedy.

Yet, Bernie has supporters. Lots and lots of them. Throngs of fawning fans turn out to cheer as the multi-millionaire tells them that millionaires are the source of all evil. He condemns the avarice of the rich while promising to make us more like them. And the crowd cheers.

The people who vote for Bernie are actually voting for themselves. They believe that Sanders is dedicated to their best interest and when he rises to power, he will do exactly what THEY would do. He is their surrogate president. They believe he has no selfish ambition. They believe he is without personal motives. They believe he is running for president to help them.

Bernie Sanders and his supporters deserve each other. The Sanders campaign is a collection of parasites. They are a ball of leeches sucking blood from each other, angry because they’re still hungry.

Socialism, in the words of Chris Matthews, “doesn’t frickin’ work”. Bernie Sanders popularity is testimony to American selfishness. It does NOT testify to American compassion, empathy, or generosity.

Make no mistake, voting for Bernie does not signal your virtue. It signals your jealousy. Your sanctimonious hatred for the privileged rich is fueled by your unrealized desire to be one of them.

So go ahead and feel the Bern this year. And when you wake up after election day and discover you didn’t get any of the toys you were promised, don’t blame anyone but yourself.

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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32 Responses

  1. I just had to fish Club’s comments out of spam. Apparently the WordPress algorithm thinks there’s no way her comments could be coming from a real human. 🙂

    I know y’all missed her. So you’re welcome. 😀

  2. Last election I knew some older-millennial Christians who were Sanders-curious. I think the appeal was that they were confusing Socialism with a robust welfare state, and a robust welfare state with social solidarity, and social solidarity is a Christian virtue.
    The problem (to me anyway) is:
    1) Socialism = state ownership of industry, not a welfare state, and
    2) Social solidarity is a condition of a functional welfare state, not the other way around.

  3. The only smart people of means that support socialism are those that believe they will somehow be running it. Almost all of them learn, too late, they were wrong.

          1. “I remember when I got all my information from Wikipedia…and then I hit puberty” – brobster

            that’s a shame since wikipedia articles usually have great reference sections. It’s a shame that when you hit puberty, you decided that ignoring sources of information in favor of lying was a good thing.

            I do notice that you can’t show that anything in the wiki articles is wrong. How unsurprising.

        1. Funny enough, the article in Wikipedia that helped me realize the site was full of falsehoods…was an article on puberty. Just get better sources. Please. Something reputable would be preferred.

        2. You do know that anybody can edit Wikipedia articles at any time correct? Meaning depending on the date or time of day what I read and what you read can be 2 totally different things. Want some examples? Fine….here we go!

          Lies recorded on Wikipedia:
          #1 – Plato was Hawaiian; #2 – Room temperature was once reported on Wikipedia as “a common term to denote a certain temperature at which humans are gay.” #3 – Reality – The entire entry for the Wiki page of reality was deleted and the reference to the page stated “Reality becomes a human commodity.” #4 – George W. Bush is the Worst President in History. #5 – President Kennedy’s assisstant Joh Seigenthaler Sr. helped to kill him. #6 – Sarah Palin is an Anti-Semite.

          That’s just for starters and I can find plenty more…but I really shouldn’t have to. In an age where we have almost unlimited information LITERALLY at the tips of our fingers, why not just link to a source that is reputable rather than having an unverified source that can either be ridiculous or swayed by opinion. BTW when using the word literally I used the definition from Dictionary.com. “in a literal manner; word for word; actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy.” I could change the definition for literal in the WIki entry to make it say whatever I want for an hour or so, (just to prove a point) but it seems redundant.

          1. wow, dear, so much work in finding false things on wikipedia, but I notice you didn’t note one wrong thing on those links I posted. Poor thing, still more lies and still no evidence to support them.

            And poor thing, it’s so nice to see you insist I find a “reputable” source, but we both know that you would claim they weren’t reputable as soon as they showed your lies for what they are. I know that Christians have no problem in lying despite what their god supposedly says.

            and oh my, we both use the term “literal” in the same way.

        3. Did you mean for me to parse through wikipedia articles you posted to comb for inaccuracies? Sorry sweetie, not my job, I get paid much more to do my actual job and will continue to use reputable and verified sources who have done the research because that is what THEY get paid to do.

          1. “Did you mean for me to parse through wikipedia articles you posted to comb for inaccuracies? Sorry sweetie, not my job, I get paid much more to do my actual job and will continue to use reputable and verified sources who have done the research because that is what THEY get paid to do.” – brobster

            aw, but you did exactly that for other articles, and poor thing just can’t find one thing wrong with the wiki articles I posted. Thanks for making a fool of yourself, Brob.

            still nothing to show that your claims are true, not one of those “reputable and verified sources”. Darn, how could that be?

        4. Funny how you have assumed both my gender and my religion even though I have provided neither. I just pointed out bad sourcing articles. If believing in using verified sources automatically makes me both ‘male’ and ‘Christian’ then your world view must be very small and sad. PS the google search took me 10 seconds..that might be considered “work” to you, but I consider it doing the bare minimum in regards to research. You should try it sometiime.

          1. “Funny how you have assumed both my gender and my religion even though I have provided neither. I just pointed out bad sourcing articles. If believing in using verified sources automatically makes me both ‘male’ and ‘Christian’ then your world view must be very small and sad. PS the google search took me 10 seconds..that might be considered “work” to you, but I consider it doing the bare minimum in regards to research. You should try it sometiime.” – brobster

            I believe my informed assumption to be quite right, “bro”. It’s not hard to know what you are at all. Again, poor “bro” we have you still unable to show that the wiki article I linked to are wrong. But golly, you had time to supposedly find random false information on wiki. Why is that “bro”?

            I am glad to see you choosing to lie. It makes Christianity and Christians look that more incompetent and deceitful.

            I am also amused with your attempt to end the conversation but still have to natter on. 🙂

          1. “Judgemental atheist. Interesting. Goodbye sweetie.” – brobster

            and one more Christian unable to show I’m wrong and running away when I ask for evidence from them. How unsurprising.

        1. Somebody better than Jesus?!!
          I dunno. Maybe one of the ladies…

          Feel the Bern, Club! Communism for Everyone!

          1. and still lying. Oh well. And you orange messiah, JB, the one you ignore your bible for. I very much enjoyed seeing a conservative Christian that says he’d vote for trump before Jesus. wonderfully heretical isn’t it?

          2. “I FINALLY figured out why Club’s German moniker suits her so well…” – Amanda

            Oh, pray tell what you figured out, Amanda. 🙂 This will be great fun to see.

          3. Because you support a person who is a communist. Nazi Germany, we learned about this in school, was a communist country.

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