“Religious” is a word I don’t use often because it doesn’t mean anything. Describing myself as “religious” is like saying I’m an “Earthling”. “Religion” is the reason given for both abstaining from chocolate during lent and throwing virgins into volcanoes to improve crop yield. So when I say I’m “religious”, you don’t know any more about me than you did before I said it. Which is why you can’t trust “religious people”. (This contradicts something I wrote earlier but it can’t be helped.)

You can’t trust “non-religious” people either because they’re nitwits. Anyone claiming to be “non-religious” might as well claim to be a “non-Earthling”. “Non-religion” is a fantasy land that exists only in non-religious minds. There is no evidence that human beliefs are informed exclusively by evidence. Everyone has faith in something.

The object of faith is what distinguishes one religion from another. The object of Christian faith is Jesus Christ. Christianity without Jesus is just “religion” and there’s not much value in unspecified “religious beliefs”. Just because the word “Christian” appears in a mission statement doesn’t mean a seminary is teaching Christianity. BEHOLD!

Education at Union Theological Seminary is deeply rooted in a critical understanding of the breadth of Christian traditions yet significantly instructed by the insights of other faiths. It makes connections between these traditions and the most profoundly challenging issues of our contemporary experience: the realities of suffering and injustice, world religious pluralism, the fragility of our planet, and discoveries of modern science. Union envisions a future in which teaching and learning continues to be ecumenical in spirit, supporting a record of academic excellence and a deep commitment to social justice. Union envisions its graduates changing the world by practicing their vocations with dedication that bring a religiously grounded, critical and compassionate presence to the major personal, social, political and scientific realities of our time.

To be “deeply rooted in a critical understanding of the breadth of Christian traditions” is not Christianity. I can have a critical understanding of the traditions of the Royal Family and it won’t make me King of England. I can have a critical understanding of the traditions of French baking and it won’t make me a croissant.

Religious pluralism is a half-step up from “non-religious” on the stupidity chart. It’s the belief that you can put baked beans and iced tea in the same thermos without ruining both of them.

Beware of “religious” people. They’ll tell you they’re on your team without knowing the rules of the game. There’s only one true Gospel.

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!

Galatians 1:6