photo of brown bare tree on brown surface during daytime

There’s a dead tree in my front yard. It still has a tag hanging on one of the branches that says, “Jonathan Apple” but it hasn’t ever produced a single apple so it’s not an apple tree. It’s just a lifeless collection of sticks.

Some religious folks will tell me not to chop it up and burn it. They’ll insist there is always hope. “God can work a miracle,” they chirp. “Have faith!” These folks are disappointed that I don’t share their optimism. Some of them even suggest that my God is too small.

Their ministry is focused exclusively on dead plants. They water and fertilize dry sticks. They bathe the sticks in UV light. They play music and speak encouraging words. They NEVER use the word ‘dead.’ It is not their place to judge! The sticks are just ‘on a journey.’

Over the years, they have built a gigantic congregation. Thousands of lifeless limbs assemble every week. They join together to produce absolutely nothing while celebrating the future harvest they trust God to send in His good time.

They will rescue my dead tree from the fire. Full of righteous indignation, they will snatch it from my faithless hands and make it part of their lifeless orchard. They will pretend my dead tree is an apple tree and tell me that’s called, ‘compassion.’ They will heap honor on the stick as if it had actually been a blessing. They will credit it with righteousness that it did not earn.

Of course, God might still perform a miracle. I can’t deny that is true. The dead stick could be redeemed. It might spring to life and produce a bumper crop of apples, or something else. If God wills it, the apple tree could produce pears, grapes, or pepperoni pizza. In the contest to see who has the most faith, I get extra points for absurdity.

Instead of hoping that God honors my fantasies, I’ll just get another tree that has some leaves growing on it. Investing time and energy into live trees is a better use of my time. Scripture seems to concur.

(John 15:5) “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.”

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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One Response

  1. Your last couple of posts remind me of 2 Maccabees 8-9 in which a wicked king sets about accomplishing his bucket list which is to exterminate the Hebrews. Finally, God lowers the boom and the king gets what sounds like a case of the runs on steroids. The story says that the king stunk so badly that even his most loyal men could not tolerate being around him. In his misery, the king repents, acknowledges God Almighty, praises him and promises to be a good boy. God lets him rot a little more, then the king dies, most miserably, completely humiliated.

    God help me, but I hope I am not a lifeless stick.

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