No white. Coincidence? Not likely…
Gonna try something today.
It’s a popular method of attracting attention.
Gonna take a shot at being offended.
Bear with me.
It’s my first time.
Here we go…
Benjamin Moore paint company is racist!
They have paint named “Eggshell White”
As a white man, I’m outraged.
It offends me to have my ethnicity linked to a chicken embryo.
And that’s just the beginning!
The list of offensive white names is very long.
“Dumbarton White”
…obviously a disguised message, “Dumb Whites”.
“Soft White”
…clearly insinuating white people are ‘soft’ or ‘lazy’!
“Timid White”
…might as well call it “Awkward Caucasian”.
“Mannequin Cream”
…because white people aren’t real people!
“Cream Puff”
…that’s what White people are, after all.
“White Rock”
…cocaine reference mocking White people’s drug addiction.
“White Down”
…a call to action that white people be suppressed or ‘kept down’.
“Parish White”
…veiled wish that white people would all ‘perish’.
How is it legal to sell this stuff?
Because Congress won’t act.
They sit in their eggshell white offices doing nothing.
Nothing!
…bunch of timid whites.
…
So how was that?
Was my anger palpable?
There’s a lot of outrage out there.
My indignation won’t make headlines unless the anger is palpable.
If I make enough noise, maybe Benjamin Moore will give me a settlement.
That’d be mighty white of them.
My dear brothers and sisters,* how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?
James 2:1
6 Responses
So, where does off-white fit on the intersectionality scale?
Good post. I just can’t “color” you racist because then you wouldn’t be racist anymore. You would be a “colored” person.
Discrimination is only acceptable towards anyone not made in the image of God. So that’s… uh, I guess no one…
White males are one of the most hated people groups in the world right now. Everything is their fault! They are the only ones that held slaves, forced the “Native Americans” out, oppressed women, etc. They are terrible people! Because of these terrible people, modern day white males have no holidays celebrating the history of being white male, no special privileges, scholarships, grants, or television channels given to people just because they are a white male. 🙂
AND there are no paints named “White Male” either!!
Go, whitey!!!! 😉
OUTSTANDING!!