Single people, like short people, got no reason to live. Whether or not you agree with this depends on whether or not you attend church and are a single person. Peaches and I discuss single status and Christianity. We analyze the use of the word ‘single’ when the word ‘divorced’ is more accurate. We’re not saying it’s dishonest but it’s not honest. Â Peaches tries to explain that married people are like paper glued together. She’s weird like that. We think divorce isn’t something to celebrate. We think it’s kinda sad and painful and awkward.
We puzzle over how some people talk about divorce like it’s a force of nature. Then I worry about incurring the wrath of my mom again. (Mom comes later in the podcast and she’s not too mad. She gives me a Christmas present!) Â I start contradicting myself because, as usual, I start talking before I finish thinking. Â Then I just keep talking. Â And I admit my undying affection for single people.
Sometimes single people yell at me for not talking about single people when I’m speaking at marriage conferences. Â And if you’re single, and still listening, I’m impressed! Â I’ve offended myself multiple times already. If you’re feeling disconnected, maybe the problem is yours. Maybe… Maybe…single people can still treat other people like a spouse. Â (It doesn’t mean what you’re thinking.) Then I talk about Brad. And he makes me kinda sad. Â Sad Brad.
THEN… BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND — GRANDMA TURBO!
She readily admits her age. Then she tells me why I shouldn’t have asked. The two of us exchange Christmas gifts because our family is horribly disorganized. I ask my mom where I was made and it wasn’t “China”. She doesn’t get more specific. Â Mandy books my rental car for an upcoming trip and gives Hertz our home number as a fax number. We spend the rest of the conversation answering the stupid phone. Â Thanks, Peaches.
Then Mom tells us about taking a bus trip. That’s what old people do. I make fun of my dear mother for this and then Peaches reminds me that my wife actually OWNS a bus. We’re such hicks. Â Then we talk about Mom feeling alien as a single person in church. We talk about my Dad (who will probably appear on the podcast at some point…when I work up the nerve.) Â Emmi runs out of cereal and makes some strange noise. Â My mom essentially calls me a heartless machine. Turbo gets a little emotional which makes me squeamish and confirms the accuracy of the ‘heartless’ accusation.
Hertz! Â Stop calling me! Â I don’t have a fax machine!
Mom says she repeats her mistakes. I’m curious if I’m one of those mistakes. She says ‘no’, but that’s what moms are supposed to say. Â We try to figure out how to determine which events in our lives are mistakes. Mom quotes Aslan, who isn’t even a human (or real).
We finally block Hertz.
Everybody on Earth is in a relationship with everyone else on Earth. Mind blown. Mom’s are experts at feeling like failures. Relax and enjoy some Necco wafers.
11 Responses
sorry for commenting so late, but i am so thankful for John’s mother’s courage to trust that Jesus is truly enough. I have her same stance on marriage, divorce, and remarriage.. I know that it is not a popular one. I am also thankful for a Father that forgives, redeems, and restores.
blessings….
Grandma Turbo is pretty special.
She puts up with a lot of teasing from all of us, but she’s the real deal! A godly Matriarch who knows what it means to sacrifice for her convictions.
She’ll be on the cast again, I’m sure…
i can’t wait. thank you guys for sharing your family with us.
i am carl
Also, as a “real” single person, I really appreciated this conversation. Any time a person—single, married, whatever—thinks an outside change, or recognition of their position is going to help fulfill them, something is wrong. I’ve learnt (still learning) that hearing so much about marriage whether in the church or in scripture isn’t that disassociated from single people because if we are the church, that makes us the bride of Christ, which means that the relationship between a married couple relates to the relationship Christ wants to have with me. Marriage is only ever a reflection of the real thing: Christ and His bride. So as a single person, if I’m complaining that I’m single, or crying because everyone else is married, what am I really complaining about? I’m not in proper relationship with God. John summed it up well at the end by saying that walking humbly with God is about relationship. Instead of having a good sook at the church because I’m single, I should be working on my relationship with God. It’s just easier to complain and feel sorry for yourself at times. My Dad though would probably say at that point it’s time to have a cup of concrete to toughen you up a bit. Anyhow. That’s my mini-vent.
Thanks for the thoughts. Very encouraging!
Ah you guys, this is wonderful. Thank you 🙂
I downloaded the libsyn app on my phone just for this podcast. Be honoured.
Haha, we DO feel honored!
But, if the Libsyn app becomes more trouble than it’s worth, the podcast is also on iTunes. 🙂
Hello John, Peaches,Grandma Turbo and Misc. Persons,
I found out about Yalls podcast while listening to Tim Hawkins podcast.
I’ve enjoyed the episodes greatly and always look forward to the new one!!!
Thanks for the humor, Bible truth and news commentary!!!
Keep up the good work
Thanks, Carl!
It’s always great to hear what you think! 🙂
(Also, don’t give Hertz your telephone number.)