Here’s a quick rule of thumb that has helped me avoid countless hours of bitter, pointless conflict.

“Never Converse with People You Don’t Respect.”

In order to follow this rule, I established some guidelines for determining whether or not I respect a person. In my line of work, it is crucial to have some basic ground rules for engaging in dialogue. It squelches the anxiety created by my feeling obligated to respond to every crackpot, dipstick, jackass, and troll that hurls a comment at me.

I KNOW THIS IS COUNTERCULTURE! The crackpot dipstick jackasses tell me that EVERYBODY is worthy of respect but they don’t mean it. They mean everybody who shares THEIR OPINION is worthy of respect. They waste no time attacking me when I make it clear that we disagree.

One of my guidelines for respect is: “You must be civil.” I won’t give my limited attention to anyone who responds to my writing with a personal insult. I don’t respect people who aren’t careful thinkers and name calling requires zero understanding. There is no wisdom in the tantrums of petulant children.

What’s great about this guideline is how quickly it can be applied. Many despicable people identify themselves in their very first comment. I can discard dozens of commenters without ever needing to use my 2nd guideline for respect: “You must engage with my ideas.”

When I write about the importance of good theology and you respond with something like, “You brainwashed Christians just worship Donald Trump!” — I will not be responding to you. That’s not because I hate you (I don’t), it’s because I don’t respect you. Try to understand that you started it. Firing false accusations at me is the highest form of disrespect.

I hope this clears up any confusion you have about why your comments are being ‘ignored.’ I can’t guarantee that I will respond to every respectable commenter. I can assure you that I won’t waste my time with smug bullies. It might take a couple of minutes to determine whether or not I respect you but the moment I figure out that you’re a fool, our conversation will end.

(Proverbs 10:23) “A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.”