This ideology could destroy mankind.
Happy Black Thursday!
If the date is November 27th,
shame on you!
Wasting time reading.
When there’s thanking to do!
Let me list the things for which I am most thankful.
- Coupon mailings
- Newspaper circulars
- Extended store hours
- Early store openings
- Three Days until Cyber Monday
- Cyber Monday
- Credit card limit increases
- Mortgage refinancing
- The family I miss while I’m gone shopping
Every year, this holiday reminds us that
even though commerce is a round-the-clock occurrence
…it’s not enough.
We need more time to bust doors!
I propose that
just for this weekend
we cram 30 hours into every day!
Shouldn’t be too tough.
Just like “daylight savings”.
…only BETTER!
It would give us 120 hours to shop.
Imagine how much merrier Christmas would be!
That much consumerism could wipe out holiday depression!
Put an end to sorrow!
Who could possibly oppose ending sorrow?
Then, the only remaining obstacles to Utopia would be climate change
…and Christians.
Only one reason for opposing this idea.
Hate.
So don’t hate.
Especially not on this sacred holiday.
Get out there and buy something!
