Amazon has set the minimum wage for their employees at $15 per hour.

Pathetic.

Hourly workers, regardless of their competence and value to the company, deserve more.

Whether pushing a broom, stealing office supplies, sleeping under a desk, or putting the safety of fellow employees at risk – workers lives matter.

An hour of time from these noble servants is worth more than fifteen bucks.

Much more!

It’s time the “minimum wage” addressed some things that money can’t buy.

At a minimum, the minimum should include:

  • Hourly wage equal to 10% of CEO’s salary.
  • Respect paid hourly in the form of managers telling individuals, “I really respect you.”
  • No criticism from management for any reason.
  • Company car.
  • Company snowmobile (where appropriate).
  • Company jet-ski (where snowmobile not appropriate).
  • Weekly “Appreciation Party” with a banner bearing employee’s name.
  • 12 weeks paid vacation.
  • 90 sick days.
  • Full medical benefits.
  • On death, body placed in cryogenic state awaiting technology that will allow resurrection.
  • Tickets on a SpaceX flight.
  • Work day doesn’t begin before 11am.
  • Donald Trump gets impeached.
  • Company provides whatever employee says in answer to the question, “What would make you happy?”

This is not a comprehensive list but it’s a decent starting point.

Anything less is a slap in the face to labor.

This is America, people!

EVERYBODY has the right to be a billionaire.

Black, white, male, female, insane, dishonest, unemployed, lazy, foreign, incarcerated, deceased…everyone!

If you disagree, you’re a greedy, rich-guy who’s afraid of losing power.

Shame on you.

Why do you hate women?

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

You gonna keep lurking forever or are you gonna join this exclusive clique?
Stop procrastinating. Click This.

Leave a comment

2 Responses

  1. Why should Bezos be the only billionaire at Amazon? If he’s a billionaire then EVERYONE should be a billionaire! Fair is fair.

  2. In anticipation of a rising minimum wage, my local McDonald’s replaced a handful of employees with giant touchscreens. So you no longer order from a helpful McDonald’s employee, you order from what is essentially a giant iPhone screen. I suspect Amazon is also increasing the minimum wage of their employees because they know they’re going to be replacing a bunch of them with robots soon. As for why I hate women, I’m a white heterosexual male and I’ve been told that I am a sexist and a racist. And I figured, who am I to argue with CNN? I used to think I should love all people equally, you know, because of what Jesus said. But thankfully the media set me straight. I mean gay! I mean…

    Dang, it’s so hard to talk about anything these days.

Dive into the discussion...

Archives
Subscribe to Blog via Email

Get my blog in your inbox!

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox:

Your Cart