Regular readers know that one of my favorite hobbies is mocking stupid ideas. Regular readers also know that mocking stupid ideas upsets people who hold stupid ideas. To be clear, everyone holds a few stupid ideas (even me)! Mockery makes me feel ashamed which discourages me from making stupid ideas permanent. When stupid ideas become permanent, it can ruin your life.

Falling in love will certainly ruin your life when you hold the stupid idea God doesn’t exist. Yet, God-deniers seem to understand that falling in love is something that shouldn’t be left to chance and evolution.

“Humanists are committed to being good without a God, but sometimes they need a little advice on how to pull it off. “

Allow me to interpret what that means. “Humanists are committed to being good without wisdom, but sometimes they need a little wisdom on how to pull it off.” It’s super-hard to be good when you don’t believe goodness exists. Putting a humanist in charge of an advice column is like putting a bull in a milking machine. You’re going to have to lie to yourself if you intend to drink that milk.

Humanists shouldn’t give advice. Christians should. In fact, Christians are commanded to speak truth. So, I’ll respond to the humanist’s letter with some helpful mockery and hope it encourages them to drop their ideas before the stupidity is irreversible.

“A few days ago, I was prompted to play “Swipe Night”—an interactive, apocalyptic video game on Tinder that promises to match players based on the decisions they make in the scripted game…”

Stop right there… Did you know Tinder is just a hook-up app? It’s a tool that horny people use to find other horny people for loveless sexual encounters. No strings. No commitments. You don’t need to “match players” based on anything when the goal is physical gratification. It can be accomplished with a male, female, dog, fish, lamp, or milking machine.

“Tom and I connected almost immediately…However, this budding, rosy feeling disappeared a few days later when I found out that Tom had made vastly different decisions in the game …”

Enough…You better sit down. What I’m going to say will shock you. Sometimes, people on Tinder are dishonest. It’s hard to believe but people who are only interested in using you for their personal pleasure don’t respect you. Tom just wanted to have sex with you. He wasn’t on Tinder for an emotional connection.

Before I end, I need to respond to the horrific advice the Humanists gave you.

“The genuine feeling of connection that you experienced when you first met Tom is what you should be focusing on here…”

Incorrect. Your genuine feeling of connection was a lie. There was never a connection. It was simply lust. You and Tom did what animals do when their urges take over. Pretending you experienced some higher, nobler connection is your attempt to deal with shame. Focusing on that mythical “connection” will only amplify your future pain when you finally realize I’m telling you the truth.

If you’re still confused, I’m not surprised. Humanism is religion for dummies. It’s going to take an act of God to pull you out of it. You should beg God for wisdom. That’s your only hope. Fall on your face, repent of your sin, and beg the source of all goodness and reason to yank the stupidity out of your head and replace it with wisdom.

Or, get back on Tinder and play another round of “Swipe Night”. You can’t be good without God. You can’t find love without God. Quit wasting your time writing for advice from Humanists.

There is not a righteous man on earth
who does what is right and never sins.

Ecc 7:20