Bogus.

I don’t need to do that.

I already know what it’s like to be you.

I have supernatural powers of empathy.

I feel exactly what you feel.

Don’t have to walk in your shoes.

Don’t have to live a day in your life.

I am tuned in to your emotions.

Need proof?

You’re feeling skeptical.

You doubt my claim of supernatural empathy.

Ka-Boom!

Nailed it, didn’t I?

Don’t tell me I’m full of malarkey.

That’s judgmental.

You don’t know what it’s like to be me.

Nobody has lived my life but me.

Nobody can say anything about my choices.

(Except people who think I’m flawless.)

This upsets you.

I can feel it.

Your urge to criticize me is strong.

But you CAN’T!

You’ve never worn my shoes!

They probably won’t even fit you.

…I have shallow arches.

So accept it when I tell you:

Ignorance isn’t stupidity.

Disagreement isn’t hatred.

AND

You DON’T know everything.

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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Leave a comment

2 Responses

  1. Dear Mr. Branyan,
    I’m gonna sound like a complete sycophant, but I don’t think you have written anything I haven’t liked enormously.
    If you don’t write something soon that I can genuinely criticize, I do not know what I will do.

    Sincerely, R. Osman

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