“Modern science says homosexuality is not a choice.”

That’s wrong.

Homosexuality is a choice, just like heterosexuality.

“You’re wrong!  Here’s an article!”

“Modern Science Says Homosexuality Is Not A Choice”

Oh…

Guess that settles it…

“You bet it does!”

…except the title is wrong.

“Here we go…”

A better headline is:

“Modern Science Says Sexual Orientation Is Not A Choice.”

“Wait! No!”

You object?

“Yes! Absolutely!”

Why?

“Because you’re probably trying to trick me!”

I’m not.

Honest.

“You always do this! Why can’t you just leave it alone?”

Because the headline doesn’t match what the article is about.

“…for the love of…”

No rational person believes that sexual orientation is a choice.

We can’t choose which people we’re going to find attractive.

“Right! That’s science! That’s SCIENCE!”

Sure.

Didn’t you already know that?

The article might as well say, “Science says eye color is not a choice.”

“Right!”

Or, “Science says food allergies are not a choice.”

“Exactly!”

Or, “Science says robbing gas stations is not a choice.”

“Yes!…Yes!…uh..wait…no!”

What’s wrong?

“Robbing gas stations isn’t determined by DNA.”

Oh.

How about, “Science says spouse abuse is not a choice.”

“No! Now you’re just being stupid!”

Last one. I promise.

“Science says sexual abstinance is not a choice.”

“I knew it! I knew you were tricking me!”

Do you get it now?

“…mmmph…”

What was that?

“You’re saying we can’t choose who we’re attracted to but we choose how to deal with that attraction.”

…agree?

“No.”

Why not?

“I don’t want to take responsiblity for my choices.”

That’s very scientific of you…

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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