Relax, everyone.

It’s been confirmed.

Men in Hollywood will wear black to the Golden Globe Awards.

We unwashed, insignificant people outside of Los Angeles will finally be able to get some sleep.

The guys are wearing black to protest sexual harassment.

Thank God!

Somebody needs to protest sexual harassment.

The pro-sexual harassment movement has gotten out of hand.

We unwashed, insignificant people outside of Los Angeles need influential celebrities to take a bold stand.

“We, the beautiful, enlightened, self-important Hollywood celebrities, do not approve of sexual harassment.”

“We are so passionate about this, we’re wearing black tuxedos!”

“We’ve often worn black tuxedos at awards shows but this time is different.”

“This time, we’re defying mainstream culture!”

“Defying a culture that condones sexual harassment!”

“We’ve had enough!”

“We’re mad as hell!”

“This is our message to you, America!”

“Stop sexual harassment in Hollywood!”

“We’re not kidding!”

“Sexual harassment is a bad, bad thing.”

“It’s a shame the rest of the country hasn’t figured this out.”

“We celebrities will shoulder the responsibility.”

“We will serve as America’s conscience.”

“We will do what you are afraid to do.”

“Don designer clothes at exclusive awards events.”

“Our humble hope is that you will listen, America.”

“That you will see sexual harassment as an evil.”

“Can you do that, America?”

“If you can’t do it for us…

“…do it because of this black tux.”

The decision to wear black is truly inspiring.

Too bad nobody watches the Golden Globes.