**Warning**
Manliness is unwelcome in many congregations. Get approval from church leadership before attempting.
When the culture tells you that masculinity is “toxic”, where can you go to be male?
Church!
People are leaving Evangelicalism in droves so you’ll easily find a seat on Sunday morning.
And that’s the first step!
1) Go to church.
In order to be manly in church, you have to actually BE in church.
You won’t have any influence from your couch in front of the television.
Carve an hour out of your busy schedule binge-watching House of Cards and participate in Sunday morning service.
Just show up.
Then, after you park the car, get coffee and find a seat near the exit…
2) Don’t whine about anything.
Children need coloring books and toys or else they’ll get bored.
And when they’re bored – they whine.
That’s why churches have nurseries.
Whining is annoying, distracting and not manly.
Manliness requires you to stand toe-to-toe with boredom and not blink.
Don’t whine about singing.
Don’t whine about the sermon.
Don’t whine.
Instead…
3) Contribute.
If you’re “not getting anything out of church” – try giving something.
Christianity has always been mostly about giving.
All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
(Acts 2)
Rather than sitting with your arms folded fighting to stay awake – give something.
Offer a prayer.
Give your thoughts on a passage of scripture*
Be an usher.
Be a greeter.
Make coffee.
Figure out what job everybody else detests – and do that.
When your sole function is warming a chair, you’ll be tempted to start whining.
And you’re too old to go to the nursery.
To recap:
- Go to church.
- Don’t whine.
- Contribute.
That’s how to be manly at church.
* In order to give your thoughts on a passage of scripture, you will need to HAVE thoughts. This requires you to read scripture and THINK about it. Men sometimes refer to this as “wrestling with” scripture because men like wrestling more than thinking. You can call it “kick boxing with” scripture if you prefer martial arts. No matter what term you use, it’s a very manly thing to do.
10 Responses
“Go to church…don’t whine…contribute.”
Ah…growing up is hard to do.
Yep. They have cookies in the nursery!
@Mel
Have we ever met anyone who has finished the process besides Jesus?
Show up. Don’t whine. Contribute.
Occurs to me these are good directives to anyone claiming to be an adult and married or employed or not living alone on an island.
That’s too much work, John! Surely you can give me an easier way to be manly… 🙁
Try Reformed Church in the United States or the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Only men in leadership. Women happy and protected. Children taught well.
I like men in leadership, women protected, and children taught well. However this woman wouldn’t be happy in a church where I don’t agree with some of the doctrine. 😉
Excellently put!! Totally agree!
LOL! Amen! Good advice. I always make a point of going to the manliest of all manly churches. A side effect is often happy women and very little whining.
Excellent John. As always. Thank you, Pat