It’s simple.

If you want to guarantee that your spouse will NEVER leave you…

Marry yourself.

Quit laughing.

I’m serious.

There’s nothing funny about taking solemn vows like these:

How beautifully reassuring to know that I can count on me to help myself whenever I’m suffering.

I always assumed I was on my side but it’s nice to hear me say it.

Admittedly, you’ll face some close mindedness.

Midwesterners are such backward folks.

They’ve been slaves to the wedding-industrial complex for too long.

Imagine being married to someone who believes that marriage requires two people.

So restrictive!

No wonder traditional marriages often lead to divorce!

Delightful that Dominique didn’t change her name.

She didn’t lose herself to herself by taking on Dominique Youkhehpaz-Youkhehpaz after marriage.

Good for her!

The pledge to be kind and compassionate to herself brought tears to my eyes.

Selfless dedication to self is so rare these days.

But it will take more than promises to keep yourself committed to yourself.

Even the strongest self-marriages require counseling.

Let’s face it, sometimes it’s tough to live with yourself.

Unrealistic expectations can cause yourself to resent yourself.

Which can lead to second thoughts about your marriage.

“Maybe I’m not the best spouse for me.”

When those thoughts start creeping into your head, remember these words:

“This is why marrying yourself is a stupid idea.”

When yourself gets down on one knee and pops the question to yourself say,

“Sorry. I’m just not that into me.”

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Three Little Pigs

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10 Responses

  1. I can’t tell whether these people want to marry themselves because they are single, or, because they want to marry themselves, they stay single.
    But, I feel like there can be a market for this! Like a dating app ” Christian ME-ngle” for Christian singles that feel called to singlehood. It can consist of a self-pointing camera and journal so you can get to know yourself better. A book “Single and Ready to Me-ngle: A Ten-Step Guide to Marrying Yourself”. A new top song when you get tired of yourself (inspired by Meghan Trainor)
    “All my ladies, listen up.
    If yourself ain’t giving up.
    Lick your lips and shake your hips,
    Girl, all you gotta say is.
    My name is no.
    My sign is no.
    My number is no.
    I need to let me go.
    I need to let me go.
    Need to let me go.”

    Yeah, this can totally work.

  2. John,

    What would someone say when they hand over (to themselves) the ring?

    “With this ring, I me wed?”

    Dave

    Genesis 2:18 (ESV) Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

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