This short questionnaire will help you determine your gender.

Give yourself one point for every ‘YES’ answer to the following questions:

Have you ever…

Used a dangerously sharp object to scratch an itch inside your ear?

Lit a gas grill with the lid down?

Counseled a child to “not do what I just did with firecrackers”?

Used plastic army men with any (or all) of the following: dirt clods, sparklers, lighter fluid?

Assembled anything without even looking to see if it came with directions?

Killed a tank full of fish with neglect?

Been on the roof of a building uninvited?

Applied cologne in lieu of a shower?

Kicked or punched a machine because it wasn’t working properly?

Forgotten a jar of insects under a bed?

Licked a 9-volt battery?

Licked another kind of battery because you thought they all worked like 9-volts?

Ridden a bicycle with another human being balanced on the handlebars?

Placed a living creature in a pants pocket?

Intentionally used a rock to break glass?

Ignored an ache or pain for 6 months because “it will get better by itself”?

Worn clothes you took from the hamper?

Worn clothes that would have come from the hamper if you used one?

Called for silence in a room before farting?

Allowed another person or thing to take the blame for a smell you created?

If your score is 15 or higher: you are a male.

If your score is above zero: you are either a male or a female who has been strongly influenced by males.

If you think these questions are ridiculous, you have never even encountered a male.

When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them “man.”

Genesis 5:2