I’ve heard relationships compared to journeys.

“Love is a path you walk together.”

Journey maybe.

Path, definitely not.

Love isn’t a path…

…road, street, highway, interstate, turnpike or gravel driveway.

It’s a roller coaster track.

If you’re smart…

…when you climb aboard the train, you’ll pull that shoulder restraint down.

…that’s marriage.

Without it, the ride might not even get started.

It ends for some as they’re rolling up the first big hill…

…CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK…

…Higher and higher…

It’s a really big hill.

They start muttering…

…”This is crazy!”

…”I can’t do this!”

…”Thank goodness I didn’t pull that restraint down!”

…and jump out.

Some might make it to the top.

They can see the whole park from up there.

Including the Tilt-a-Whirl…

…the sleek, beautiful, Tilt-a-Whirl.

Those shiny, gyrating cars…

Irresistible.

…gotta take them for a spin.

And out they go.

Some folks stay in for that first…

…gigantic…

…ARGUMENT!

(WHOOSH!)

Their hair blows back!

Eyes watering. They’re hanging on…

…feet flying behind them.

They shoot into the air shrieking…

…”You’re so unreasonable!”

…”Just like your mother!”

Meanwhile, the married are mashed against that shoulder restraint.

Teeth gritted.

…”What did I ever see in you?”

Before the answer, there’s another hill and it’s…

…NO MONEY IN THE CHECKING ACCOUNT!…

(WHOOSH!)

“You bought all new clothes without asking me…”

“I needed them!”

“You have a whole closet full of…”

…I’M PREGNANT!…

(WHOOOOOOSH!)

“What?! How?”

“Remember when we made up after that argument…?”

…TWINS…

(WHOOSH!)

Now they’re struggling to unlock the restraint.

“I’m done!  Gonna go ride the Tilt-A-Whirl…”

But that restraint won’t budge.

They’re held fast!

The thrills just keep coming!

…WE NEVER TALK ANYMORE…

(WHOOSH!)

…100 HOUR WORK WEEK…

(WHOOSH!)

…CAN YOU SNORE ANY LOUDER?…

(WHOOSH)

…ARE YOU EVER SHAVING YOUR LEGS AGAIN?…

(WHOOSH)

…HOW MANY BEERS HAVE YOU HAD?…

(WHOOSH)

Unrestrained riders shout angrily as they tumble through the air.

…”I’m never falling in love again!”

There’s one couple left that’s not wearing restraints.

They’re still on the train…

…but they’re not having any fun.

Then the ride sweeps over the last hill.

(WHOOSH!)

…RETIREMENT!…

The seats pivot…

…and couples spend the rest of the ride staring at each other….

…their faces inches apart.

The couple with shoulder restraints relax enough…

…to put their hands in the air and enjoy the final rush.

The other couple…

…put their hands on each other’s throats.

As the ride rolls to a stop, we ask the surviving couple,

“Do you want to ride again?”

They shake their heads.

“Not unless I get to keep this partner.”