“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Matthew 19:1
Are you married or single?
If you’re a young person, you can’t answer that question.
Older people can answer because marriages in previous generations were primitive, regressive things.
Married people staged some kind of ritual, took vows, signed a paper…
“Single” was the default position of everybody who wasn’t “married”.
It’s comical how unsophisticated and backwards we used to be!
Our narrow definition of ‘marriage’ made it off limits to almost everyone!
We excluded:
- Same sex couples
- Couples living together
- Couples with children who aren’t living together
- Divorced people
- Groups of people larger than 2
- Any couple who ‘don’t need a piece of paper to prove their love’
The obvious question that needed to be asked was:
“Why should marriage be reserved exclusively for people who get married?”
The obviously obvious answer is obviously – it shouldn’t be.
So adopted a new term to replace marriage – “Relationship”
Relationships are just as good as ‘marriage’.
Better in many ways!
Relationships are much more inclusive than marriages. Every possible grouping of humans is accurately described by “in a relationship”.
You’re in ‘a relationship’ with everyone you’ve never met. You’re ‘in a relationship’ with plants and animals. There’s a relationship between you and every piece of furniture in my house. See how relationships bring us closer together!
That’s ALWAYS a good thing.
And relationships are easier to adjust than ‘marriage’ ever was.
You can Switch from “In a Relationship” to “Single” with the click of a button.
Marriage demands consistency, commitment and sometimes, personal sacrifice.
Relationships fit every circumstance by default. No matter what you do, we’re still in some kind of ‘relationship’ and isn’t that something beautiful that we should celebrate unless you’d rather not and I’m cool with that too?
With relationships, you don’t need a lawyer to kick people out of your life!
You Can’t do that with a marriage!
YET relationships seem to be as powerful as marriages.
Declaring that you’re “In a Relationship” yields the same excited congratulations
…that used to require an engagement ring. When the initial excitement fades, you can switch back to ‘single’ and collect buckets full of sympathy while you look for a new, exciting “relationship.”
So, are you married or single?
Hopefully, I’ve absolved you from the uncertainty about your answer.
Sorry Grandma.
Sorry Grandpa.
Nobody will be attending your 50th anniversary party.
It’s been 2 weeks since we moved in together
…we’re celebrating that instead.
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Setting aside obvious things like physical abuse, chronic adultery or rampant addiction, marriage better be for life.
Because that is how long it takes us dim bulbs to learn how to love.