I figured it out. The democratic presidential nominee just has to beat Donald Trump. They say it over and over. “We need a candidate who can beat Trump!”

They whisper it in their sleep. They tattoo it on their children’s bottoms. It’s etched on the heads of the needles they jam into their Donald Trump voodoo dolls. The ONLY presidential qualification that matters is the ability to defeat Donald Trump in 2020.

The democrats believe that Trump is a blend of malevolence and insanity. They think wickedness appeals to the gun toting, knuckle dragging, Bible thumping moron voters in fly-over country. Voters who are so stupid, they choose to live outside of New York or Los Angeles. Since there are more of these people alive in fly-over country than there are dead people registered to vote in Chicago, the usual democratic tactics will fail. In order to defeat Trump the Dems need to appeal to the “evil/crazy” voters with a candidate who is MORE despicable and deranged than Trump.

Of course, this is impossible because there is no such thing as an evil democrat. Every registered democrat is a paragon of goodness and virtue. Democrats care deeply about everything. At the base of every democrat skull is a gland that secretes compassion and empathy. They care about jobs and trees and fish and education and poverty and homelessness and gays and trans and gay-trans and trans-gays and colored people and absolutely everything else that can be cared about is cared about by democrats (except unborn babies but evil/crazy voters care about them so no biggie).

Do you see the dilemma? The democrats realize they can’t appeal to Trump’s base of evil when all of their nominees are purer than newborn Ivory Soap. Watching the debates and listening to the candidates talk, I’ve figured out their strategy. Since they can’t be more evil than Trump, they’re trying to be more crazy.

The entire slate of democratic contenders proposes healthcare systems that cost a hundred gazillion dollars. They think children know the solution to global warming. They believe there are more than two genders (without specifying how many more). Some of them pretend to be native american when they’re not. Some of them pretend to be Christian when they’re not.

Speaking of Mayor Pete, his latest attempt to out-crazy the crazy is brilliant. He proposes “decriminalizing” all drugs. Drugs would still be “illegal” but nobody would go to jail for breaking that law.

Is Buttigieg so stupid that he doesn’t understand the meaning of the word, “decriminalize”? Of course not!

He thinks YOU are too stupid to understand that word.

The goal is defeating Trump. None of the democrats will actually implement any of their campaign ideas. Most of their ideas can’t be implemented in this universe because they contradict the immutable laws of physics, mathematics, and logic. The Dems aren’t worried about governing, they’re only worried about winning the election.

Dems sincerely believe there is a wave of stupidity emanating from rural America. They believe that wave swept Donald Trump into office. Their strategy is to catch that wave themselves this time around. They can’t find that wave so they’re creating one of their own.